Quote-Love #4

The Point.

I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for.

This is all I have been thinking about in an all consuming kind of way. I don't want to sit around work in an MNC and worry about carpal injuries from incessant typing and deteriorating eye sight from looking at my laptop 10 hours a day. Maybe I'm just tired of the routine, the monotony or casual listless-ness that life has seemingly taken on, maybe it's just a phase or maybe I'm serious.

The great thing about being in your 20s is that you don't know. You can't figure it out. All you have is this stupid careless heart which will bully your brain into realizing what you want or don't want. Why can't the heart leave the brain alone?

What is it that I want? I want to volunteer, I want to teach, I want to travel, tell people what a wonderful gift travelling is, teach people to apply themselves, help them figure out who they are, tell them it's okay to be a misfit, tell kids that education is important, show them what they can do, that they have a choice, everybody has a choice. So why do I feel like I don't have a choice?

I want to learn. Learn about things I don't know. Keep an open mind and an open heart. I want to sit down and solve math problems because 10 years down the line I find solving them much easier than answering questions like "What to wear to work today?" or "Why is this happening to me?".

I want to see. See new cultures, new horizons, new places, new people. I want to hear. Hear about these new people, hear their opinions, hear their views. I want to believe. Believe that all of this will change me for the better, believe that I can do almost anything that I set my mind to.

So what are you saying, you ask. I'll say, I'm at that Point. What point? THE point. The point in life when you realize that everything you've worked towards is not what you wanted or even care for at this moment. The point when you need to re-evaluate everything you've done. Redo everything you've spent your entire 20s working on and building. The point where in some weird way it all starts to make sense and make no sense all at the same time.

Unpacking The Baggage

Zipping past India Gate in a late summer night I realized how little time I take out to actually admire the beauty of this city. My city. With the windows rolled down and the warm wind blowing my hair into a crazy tangle, I felt exhilarated. Out of breath. I felt almost as much in love with this city as I was that summer, that summer I turned 18. That summer when I fell in love with the huge red building of my Alma Mater. That summer when I kicked shyness in the butt and made some awesome friends. That summer when I was overwhelmed with the course the lecturer laid out in front of me. That summer when I found hidden Chinese food joints. That summer when I had my first real swig of Beer. That summer when I discovered myself. That summer when I stepped onto the Train Station and knew the city was mine.

It is true. You don’t choose New Delhi, New Delhi chooses you. It will leave you exasperated with crime rates and power cuts. The summers will make you swear to not come back again. It’ll corrode your soul a little every day. You’ll promise yourself you’ll run. But you see, you can’t. For what it takes, it gives you more. Always and in many ways. For some the people they learn to live with and love. For some the jobs that take care of everything they love. For some the empowerment that comes from driving events that shape the political history of a country. For some the love.

For me? I don’t know where to start. Was it the thrill of finally knowing who I am or what food I liked? Or my first painful love story. Or the first time I waded through knee-high water. Or my first successful shot at bargaining. Maybe it was the growing up and finding a soul mate.

Point is be it a person or a city, they can load you with a lot of baggage (no shit!). But the reason I stay on  is that it also helps me unpack my baggage. Gives me moments in time when I can just throw myself on the bed, stare at the ceiling and not care about a damn thing. How can you leave a city which helps you unpack your baggage? I wish I was one of those people who can just up and leave at the drop of a hat. Maybe they have it easier. But I can’t and never will.

And then I turn to look at the person sitting next to me.

And how can you leave a person who has helped you unpack your baggage? If it ever comes to leaving everything behind, this man right next to me, I’m taking. We can unpack together.

I Had A Conversation With Little Me

WHAT IS IT? Why are you stalking me? Either I'm hallucinating or you've become a certified stalker!
I think you're hallucinating.
Well, that won't be surprising. This fever is sucking the life blood out of me. What are you doing her anyway? You're way past your bedtime.
Well, you of all people should know that I don't have a bedtime. Folks are chill like that.
Fine. But, again, what are you doing here?
Thought I'd pay you a visit. Things are changing aren't they?
Hmm, yes. They are. But I like these changes, you know. I guess you wouldn't know, you're too young.
Oh Gawd! Stop calling me young! Well, first I wanted to check with you and second that sister of ours is too much trouble. I thought I'd get away for a while.
Haha. Don't worry about it. By the time you hit 20 she'll be one of your best friends. You'll have hour long conversations with her on weekends about nothing at all. Laugh about random things that you won't even remember later.
Fine. I'll take your word for it. I mean I have to, don't I? But there's this other thing....or rather this other boy. He's moving! I mean I can't imagine. I've crushed on him for so long and now he's moving. I never even got to tell him anything. That's not fair is it? What if I regret it for the rest of my life and what if I die lonely?
Well, one thing's for sure you'll always be a drama queen. 13, 21, 25 - drama is your way of life. But that boy? Yeah, he was a good one. And he'll also be the first of your friends to get married...
Wait...WHAT?! Are you serious? I think I'm going to pass out from this physical pain.
If I was any healthier I would've rolled my eyes right now. No, you're not going to pass out. Relax. Well you won't be affected when that happens and you'd actually be really happy for him, you know?
 No, I don't know! I can't imagine me being...
Can I finish? Well, you will be happy. So deal with it. He will go on to be one of your really good friends...you might lose in touch though but you won't regret anything about this. I'd wish you were a lot more proactive about keeping in touch.
 Yeah, well. I'll atleast have the Super Seven with me all my life.
First, that's the lamest name ever. Second, don't count on that.
[Groan] You're like the bearer of the worst pieces of information ever.
What? I'm not saying you will stop being friends. Just some of you may not be around all the time. Some of you will go to far away places, do really well for yourselves and will always remember each other fondly. Also, you'll make some helluva friends that will mean more to you than you can possibly imagine right now.
Who are these friends?
Nope. Can't tell you that.
Why?!
Sometimes you gotta let the magic happen without knowing all about it.
So tell me about these changes, huh?
What's there to tell? You know about them, that's why you're here, right?
Yea, obviously. But I want to know all about it. Tell me!
What did I tell you about magic just now. Ask me something else.
Will Pizza always be my favorite food?
Uhh...No. And thank God for that, my metabolism couldn't take the assault.
Utter Crap! A little bit of Pizza is going to do nothing.
 Yea, well, cherish the super brill metabolism while it's still there. And you'll start loving rice and all the glory of the Bengali food. Don't make that face. You will. And mangoes. You will start loving mangoes like no other fruit.
 I know, mom never stops trying to feed me some mangoes. Ha! And that rice, mango and Bengali food thing should be interesting.
Yes, so off you go! You're giving me a headache already.
Wow, so cranky.
 I know. Blame it on the fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fever!
What?
Never mind. And do me a favor, don't crave to be 25. It's not as glamorous as you think it is. I mean, okay, more fun definitely. But on and off you will crave to be in that sleepy town. So spend more time with the folks and stop bullying little sis.
God, you're all about the lectures these days aren't you? Anyway, I'll try. [Smiles]

Let It Be!

I was watching a video the other day (with a friend) about this girl who ranted away on how you shouldn't feel pressurized to get married as soon as you reach the so called marriageable age and how its OK to not run after a home, husband and kids. Basically it's OK to wait and what not.

But my point is, if I was getting married in say the near future (and I was that impressionable) this video would have made me feel pressurized and gulp down a couple of beers in the least. I mean WHAT THE FUCK?! It's a problem if you don't get married and now it's a problem and if you DO get married...can you girls decide? And why why why do we need to have norms!

In our quest of trying to liberate us from making choices that we did not want we are trying to tie us down with logic that never was. What you do with your life is your choice. I don't want to feel weird if I'm with the right person at the right time and wanting to get married. And god forbid if I'm in the 'right age to marry' bracket. I'm not doing it because of the pressure to do certain things at a certain age. I'm doing it because I genuinely want to.

If I'm able to live on my own and pay for my education (well half of it anyway) since the last 10 years. If I'm able to vote for the country. I think, I think, I would know when to get married. It's no pressure, really. It's these fucking FB statuses and blog posts from these 20-somethings that are so baffling. Ridic!

So yea, before you jump into your monologues about when someone should marry, at what age, to whom - so on and so forth...think again. It's all about living and letting the others live too, right?

Mom's The Word

I'm not sure how this works but  mom's are always right and ... they make things happen. If they say, "You'll grow up to be a handsome boy" or "You'll make us so so proud" - take my advice and believe them.

I've seen it happen.

The A Word

 

 

Abuse. The dictionary has a very simple meaning for this word. Misuse. Maltreatment.

Unfortunately it does not even begin to cover the complexity of the reality of abuse. The multiple ugly layers that it has. Take this from someone who's been there, done that. So when things turned ugly between a friend and the supposedly better half, I saw red. No matter how bad things are, how ugly the things you say to each other are, a guy/girl absolutely cannot in any extent of the imagination think that hitting the other is a possibility.

But does that really eradicate Abuse? The very nature of something like this is it works in many, discreet ways. It need not always be physical. A lot of times it's emotional and mental. Afraid to talk about that co-worker who is funny that you share a completely platonic relationship with? Or about the good things that are happening at work? Just because it might make him mad? If that's a yes...it's abuse. Most women go through life unable to even recognize those tell-tale signs of abuse. These signs may not be in-your-face but it will surely and steadily eat you up and make you a different person. I'm trying to not be too dramatic...but one day you are going to wake up and not recognize the person you have become. Also, just because I'm talking from a woman's perspective does not mean it doesn't happen the other way around. It does.

I think the saddest the thing is, abusive relationships are also addictive. You are addicted to the authority the other person brings in your life. The confidence, self - importance that compensates for your own lack of it. Because admit it if all the above were there...you would have called it quits as soon as it started. This may not be helping anybody at all as I write it...but please, please get out of it as soon as someone hits you. That's a line you don't want to cross.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know it's hard. Easier said than done. Because when you discover the full extent of how loveless this whole fiasco is (does not matter how many times he cries and says he won't do it again) it's going to tear at the very core of your being. You'll need a heart of steel, agreed. But do it, because you owe it to yourself, to the parents who raised you like you were the only thing that meant anything to them, do it for the friends who love you unconditionally, to the perfect guy in future who is going to treat you like a princess.

The Sound Of Heaven

A couple of days back I woke up quite early for work. As I drowsily walked towards the shower, I realised that I had left the towel in balcony. Ugghh...

So bracing myself to face the freeze-your-brains-out cold outside I walked to the balcony. Hoping to get it over with soon, I grabbed the towel and started walking back. But then...

...that's when it started raining. A gentle pour, like something soft falling on velvet. And there was pin drop silence and I could see the clouds clearing up. I swear I could hear them moving/clearing. It was just a beautiful sound. It was then that I knew, everything that was going wrong would be alright. Don't ask me why, but I just knew.

I stood still for a few minutes before the biting cold drove me in.

But I couldn't help but wonder, if that's what Heaven sounds like. Either that or it sounds like B's drowsy morning voice.

Weekend Education: Dating Don'ts Part 4

[Scheduled Post]

OK, here it is again. I told you the Holiday Season should officially be termed the Hook-Up Season. If you remember, I explained how people are desperate to hook up during this time. Most women definitely have their Manhunt Game face on. However, sweet and undeniably adorable that I am, I will tell you how to steer clear of the assholes. Here goes:

Never trust a guy -

1. Who thinks chivalry is for Mills & Boons historic novels.If he doesn't hold the door for you, give you the seat when the tube is crowded, he's not worth it.

2, Wears more jewellery than you. Ok, fine, this may be a more personal kind of a bias, but I do think it's a good benchmark.

3. Makes you pay for his drink. Well, equality and all that is just fine. But if he's interested in you he needs to come over and buy you a drink. Yes, this is what God wants and this is how it shall be.

4. Hits on your friends...what? there's nothing to explain! Take that at face value.

So here's hoping that this year be free of assholes in your life.

xoxo

Why Was It So Good?

The other day one of my friends asked me - why was your 2011 so good?!

For a moment I didn't know what to say..I mean why was it good? I think I just came out of that year feeling like things were okay. They could have been worse, but they were not. But then, she told me a series of things that I know didn't go too well for me..and asked me if I still felt the same or was it the alcohol on 31st that made the whole year look good. As if!

She wasn't trying to drop me in the despair zone...but I think was looking for a way to see if she should be feeling happy about 2011 at all. Because I will admit, 2011 wasn't her year.

Then I thought there MUST be something more than me feeling "Oh, I came out of the year feeling good!" What were the things that made me happy?

- For starters, after a really long time I got something solid going with a guy whom I adore and who loves me back equally if not more.

- Second, I was beyond ecstatic when I realized that my parents saw the side of B that I fell in love with and actually really loved him! I was more grateful for the fact that they did not make a fuss about religion/caste or what not like most households. They showed the exact same values that they taught us growing up. It's very important for your parents to not fail you at any time...

- Over the course of the year some of us became a family away from home.

- I also realized no matter what people say there are some people who will remain friends and it doesn't matter if they're Down Under, Or partying with Uncle Sam or just rotting 2 buildings away.

- It's IMP to have a BFF. Or two. You need a little perspective when everything else fails.

- Sometimes you need a little push and a shove to get out of your comfort zone. Once there, you could be braving it better than anybody else.And things that matter, don't change just because you changed jobs.

So while, there will be times when the breath is knocked out of you and the ground is pulled from under you and, in either case, you fall, you just have to make sure there's someone to catch every such fall. In case the fall is too bad and they fall with you, make sure you laugh it off.

Because everyday does not need to be a battle. Choose your fights. And choose your Army. Because on days that you think you can't fight no more or that the fight is over, your army is what will carry you forward.

Blogoversary, Resolution Wisdom, Life List Alert!

Tomorrow is my first Blogoversary! Yay. Wow, we survived people! Also, it'll be the end of another year. Maybe it's just me, but this year went by at lightning pace.

New year always brings with it hordes of resolutions, that more often than not we end up not doing or "breaking." So, I made up a list of resolutions that everyone can draw inspiration from and more more importantly are doable:

1. Eat everyday.
2. Sleep everyday.
3. Don't whine
4. Don't steal other people's boyfriends
5. Never flash a stranger
6. Don't daydream at work. Doesn't matter if owning a bakery looks glamorous in movies, not think about it as a career move unless you can bake better than...well, most pastry chefs of the world.

And here are resolutions you shouldn't make:

1. Lose weight/Go to gym EVERYDAY (please, get real.)
2. Get married by Valentines Day. (Well, you need a person of the opposite sex for that)
3. Stop using Facebook and Twitter. (Ha! let me see you do that)
4. Give up on alcohol. (Who're you kidding? Don't ruin the only good thing you have going for you!)
5. Become Awesome! (Seriously? Do you hear your self. No matter how much you want to...you are NOT on How I Met Your Mother!)

In other things: I finished 6 items on my Life List! The last one being making a full three course meal for family and friends! I didn't even realize until I started talking about resolutions and what-not. There was: Russian Salad, Fried Fish, Chilli Chicken (It happens only in India), Hash Brown Potatoes & Fruit Cream. I think maybe, just maybe it was more than 3 courses. Job well done, good old me! So at the rate I'm going I might be done with my Life List in the next 7.5 years. That's not bad. But then, oh, I'll have more things I want to do...damn! it's vicious, never-ending cycle.

Anyway, till then I'll bask in the glory of getting some things done and having attained the super-power you need to overcome the trend of resolution-making.

Weekend Education: Dating Don't Part 3

Dating Don'ts are back to make your lives happier & less traumatic. This time a more advanced state of dating don'ts is in store for you. Let's say you managed to convince some poor fool that you are meant to be together...forever (yikes). You took his/her commitment phobia stomped on it and made it disappear for enough time so as to make him believe that he/she would be really happy with one person for the rest of their lives. So much so that the thought of kids, runny noses, minivans, houses with white picket fence and babyproofing that same house doesn't scare them out of their wits...anymore.

I will take a moment here and acknowledge the awesomeness that is you, because you managed to do something that a lot of people...well, can't.

However, let me tell you for most of you while you're dating - it is the best your relationship will ever be. There are addendums to that rule, but let's assume that is not for you, Ok? So when you're planning to seal the deal with a kiss and a bomb of a ring - here is what you should keep in mind:

Make sure you're alone while you're popping the question that keeps the human race moving forward. And maybe a few close friends for the after party. Trust me you need to do this. You need to remember how good you two are together and how happy you were while doing it. You need you're happiest memory in place for the times you want to throw utensils at each other!

Also, once the families take charge, there's no looking back. Everything goes in lightning speed and there's hardly enough time for you to catch your breath & the whole shabang. So, while you can, get the private moment and save it in your memory.

5 Minutes

Source: http://dearpseudodiary.blogspot.com 

When a woman says "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" and when a man says "Let me call you back in 5 minutes", both essentially have the same time frame in mind.

So, Dear Men, when you groan, get angry and throw a fit over why she can't be ready in "5 minutes" think of how much time it would take you to "call her back"

And, Dear Women, before you free-fall into depression, become suicidal and decide to slash your wrists because he hasn't called you back in "5 minutes" think of all of the hours you've had him waiting because your ass didn't look too flattering.

Weekend Education: Dating Don'ts Part 2

I'm back with my overflowing profound knowledge of the dating universe. While the last one was about how you get started on the journey with the right partner, this one is about the journey. Because, well you know there are some third parties who always have a pre-defined agenda to spoil what you have going on because they think it's cute or bitchy or retarded or whatever and they don't know that they are PISSING POEPLE OFF ENOUGH TO GET THEM MURDERED BECAUSE THEIR HEADS ARE SO FAR UP THEIR ASSES THAT EVEN RESEARCHERS WOULD THINK THEY ARE A DIFFERENT SPECIES! 'ASSOLORDS' ...maybe.

Okay, I feel better now. But, seriously, the way things are right you better be holding on to that guy for dear life because before you start acting pricey and bat your eyelids one too many times a third party would have had babies with your supposedly better halves.

Now, there are some ground rules before I start with my training on getting rid of Assolords. Let's call it Project: Demolition.

Ground Rules:

1. Your 'Better Half' isn't necessarily better than you.

       Corollary to 1: This means he is prone to cheating unless you are convinced he/she is devoid of any genitals. 

2. Murphy's Law: Just when you think he has sworn his entire sperm sac/uterus (whatever the case may be) to you he/she will somehow end up being attacked by an over-hormonal bitch/dog. For what happens next refer to Ground Rule 1.

3. You are allowed to attack/mutilate/castrate any third party (referred to in Ground Rule 2) that appears in your life. Except killing almost everything else is allowed.

4. This post does not take into consideration the Laws of the State which could result in imprisonment or trials.

5. Because of Ground Rule 4 this post will give you techniques of combatting or demolishing the Third Party without jeopardizing your life career etc.

Okay here goes...

1. Get Your Girl Army Together

Cold shoulders, snide comments, looks with daggers, bitchy once overs - Your weapons. These people we are dealing with can deal with all of these one by one but not all of them together. So get your army and make sure they are being bombarded with these and more at all times. Relentlessly. Till they give in and decide it's better to not have such negative people in their lives. We are of course not negative. Just pretending to be *smile*
Examples: Drop a coke on them and be like - Oops, I'm soooo sorry. How could I have done that! I really didn't see, you know.
Accidentally bump into them, Hard
Look at her top and say, OMG this is such a nice shirt/top/whatever. If you lost an inch around your waist it would look so nice on you!

2. PDA

Indulge in nauseating amounts of PDA in front of them. If it's nauseating for you, rest assured it's nauseating for them. They are bound to back out.

3. Gum In Hair

This will ensure she gets PWNED and knows that she can't mess with you. Ofcourse this is the part that comes when you think nothing else is working. Buy your favorite chewing gum, chew it for sometime and then with a flair, that only a professional thief like Danny Ocean could have, stick it on her hair. She'll chop her hair off and hopefully look ridiculous. But she'll also know not to be around YOU!

Now that you are well equipped and prepared, have fun in the weekend!

Weekend Education: Dating Don'ts - Part 1

I thought since most people are completely *missing the point* when it comes to dating I'd help them out. And since weekends are generally the time when people go out and party and feel the obsessive need to hook up with people I thought I'd impart some weekend education on Dating Don'ts. Hey! All of us are aware of the Dos but very few people, I mean very very few people know about the Don'ts. Also as FYI for the couples, Weekends and Holidays (esp NYE, Christmas etc) are equivalent to the Zombie Apocalypse of the SingleHood world. Feel free to call it Couplehood-PDA-Overdose Apocalypse or some such thing. IDK.

Here goes the first few rules of the Dating Don'ts:

1. Do Not Date A Girl/Guy With Crazy Eyes

Just in case you're not aware of what 'Crazy Eyes' really looks like.
It's always a Potential One-Day-You-Find-Your-House-In-A-Wreck alert! Trust me. Crazy eyes would mean she's obsessed with something or maybe takes things too personal. So you'd have to really think hard before pissing her off. And if you do...one fine day you walk into your apartment to find a major case of vandalism there. Oh and that also means you will NEVER BE ABLE TO BREAK UP WITH HERRRR!

2. Do Not Date a Guy/Girl Who Spits All Over Your Face While Talking

Or for that matter spits on your friends face and his girlfriends face. Soon you'll find she's spitting on the faces of everybody who is close to you. And before you could bat another eyelid you'd need wipers on your glasses. And just in case you don't wear glasses...well, too bad!

3. Do Not Date Anyone Who Sleeps With A Knife Under Their Pillow

Safety is an ...wait for it...EXCUSE! That knife will be the only indication to her psychotic behaviour. Before you think I'm over reacting let me tell you that there are alternatives to taking care of her safety. Burglar Alarms, Pepper Spray...the works. So why why oh why a KNIFE? So that in the middle of the night when your defenses are down and out  she can quickly and sure....I will leave the rest of that sentence to your imagination.

These are things your mom won't tell you, so, You're Welcome!

Stay tuned for more...later!