Long Distance Birthday & Being Alone...

... are both things that I apparently suck at. 

There's something very not fun about it being your boyfriend's birthday when he's not in the country. But there is something extremely exciting about knowing that he's living his dream! That’s how I’m spending this September 26, the day the boyfee was born.

Speaking of birthdays, first time since I left home, which is more than 8 years, I was at home for Dad’s birthday. This kind of turned out well because we got to shop along with Dad and eat beautiful Bengali food. However, this is the year where vacations to go home is nothing like, well…vacations. This is the year when I spend ridiculous amounts on things I usually wouldn’t invest in and not to mention the liberal dose of how-to-save-money conversations with the folks.

So with B living it up in the states and my mini-home-vacation over I have the house all to myself. Which, funnily enough, I don’t like much. I used to live by myself for almost 4 straight years. 2 years I stayed with this girl who used to pull night shifts and we’d only meet on Sundays – which obviously doesn’t count as staying with a person. It’s like meeting the woman in the local salon every 2 weeks. Anyhow, I used to love living alone with a vengeance. With all the things that I could possibly need on one side of my double bed and me on the other. Amazing stuff, that! And I remember the apprehension within me when I finally made the decision to properly move in with Uroy and then B. I thought it was the end of an era, which it kind of was.

Now with the entire house to myself I can’t get myself to do it. To stay alone. So I’m running to URoy’s place. Not that it’s any better because the bitch and a half made me watch Paranormal Activity 3 till 1:30 in the morning and then to “erase the bad memory” as P puts it we talked about past life regression analysis and how trauma of a previous life continue into other lives and recurring nightmares and what they could mean. And because talking about nightmares and past life regression never helped anybody sleep well I’m trying not fall asleep on my keyboard by writing this post.

Doppelgangers

Well eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers. These completely different people who just happen to look like us. Five years ago? That girl was pretty great. But doppelganger Robin? She's amazing. - Ted Mosby, HIMYM

If you were me September would be a ka-razy month for you. In a good way. Almost 50% of the people in my life who are important have their birthdays on September. Mom, Dad, Mr. B, Mr B's dad, BFF,2 of my fav girls, 2 of my closest cousins, one childhood friend and the list goes on. And if the first birthday of the month is anything to go by...I can probably only rest when October hits.

But with birthdays comes surprises. I think I like surprises even though I pretend to hate them. I mean I'm not sure. I haven't figured it out yet. You'd think at 26 I'd be able to tell if I like a certain thing or not. Turns out that's not how I roll. I mean some surprises you are bound to love. For example a surprise Katy Perry concert bang in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard on the day of my visit! True Story.

So I keep wondering if it's as difficult for other people to figure themselves out. It's fun, sometimes. But there are times when I could definitely do without the uncertainties. We are all looking to find ourselves through our travels, reading, adventures, work, friends, family etc. But by the time we find ourselves do we become a different person? Do we find someone we never were? Just doppelgangers who act, talk and walk like us?

Doesn't make any sense? I know. Me too.

Of Birthdays, Cheap Flights & Stirring In The Heart

So in exactly 5 mins it's P's birthday. Apart from being completely attuned to the time difference I do keep my laptop in India time whenever I travel, like you may know. Also, just like last year I'm missing P's birthday. Again! This obviously sucks more than gravity itself. But anyways... Happy Birthday, P!

And in other things, it pays to be an internet whore. Because this means you dig out EXTREMELY cheap flights to go meet your friend! It's just one of those things that I'm blessed with. Super bargains on the internet, that's my thing.

And alsoit was Life List decision making struggle while I decided if a weekend in Vegas is what I wanted or a few days in NYC.  While Vegas is what I want to do because...well, it's Vegas, NYC is something of a fantasy I've nursed for a very long time. I've always thought I'd feel a stirring in my heart when I finally saw the city. Saw the skyline. And stirring in the heart is always a good winner.

26

Yes, we may think we're all destined to play certain roles, but sometimes those roles can unexpectedly change: a nervous student may discover a hidden confidence; a long time wife may confront a harsh reality; a busy mother may find her attention needed elsewhere; and a woman who wanted to do a little bit of good may be finding herself playing a much bigger role than she intended. ~ Mary Alice, Desperate Housewives

Midweek birthdays are not exceptional by any stretch of the imagination. Especially when it's mine. Just hours before my birthday I have been known to become this crabby sorehead who only wants to turn the AC on and sleep.

But over the last couple of years I have grown to accept the fact that some people will always come to wish you when the clock strikes 12 and my perfection of a boyfee will have some arrangements in place no matter how much I make him promise to not do anything at all.

and sometimes he will get the perfect gift .

But for reasons I cannot mention yet this birthday might be more symbolic than others. Might mean a teeny weeny bit more than the others. This birthday might have had me a li'l bit more jittery than others. But the point I'm trying to make is this:

Postsecret.com

We'll see what happens and where life takes us. For the longest time I have planned and planned for the way

I want things to happen. In my teenage years when I was acing my tests, getting best performer certificates at school level and even doing well in sports I never imagined I would ever not have a plan.I was "The Man With The Plan" - figuratively.

But as I glide into my late 20s expecting bad metabolism to take over I realise I don't have a plan. I'm not sure what's going to happen work-wise, life-wise. I don't even know if I want my proverbial white-picket fence house - I really like my 1st floor flat with an adorable stray dog who comes running to protect me. All I know is that something exceptional is going to happen...now, tomorrow, a year later - don't know. Till them I'm just working towards it. For now:

Only things you work on...will happen.

I'm a weird mood, yes. However it can't be easy not knowing where you're heading...or maybe not. See...not sure about absolutely anything, except this:

except it's a "he" in my case

But while I embark on this journey which I don't know anything about, amidst all our crazies and cronies and randomness and nothingness I will atleast have a super fly SLR to record it!

"Happy Birthday, B!", Toy For My Boy & Free Stuff

Yesterday, was B's birthday! I had planned a million things - but as they say 'Man Proposes and God Disposes.' But it was fun anyway! Happy Birthday, B!

Actually September has always been a flurry of birthdays for me...and a nightmare for my pocket money > summer job salary > salary account. Mom, dad, bro, Rock, Upasana/Roomie/Hater, Bestie (A), B...phew, you see what I mean? 

Also, the only thing that went according to plan was the gift. I decided that big boy needed a sophisticated toy. All of us got together to give him exactly what he wanted. The glee on his face when he opened the gift wrap on it - priceless!

Unwrapping In Progress!

Too Much Love For The PS3

However, the birthday ended with a dance on this song. I love how fancy B can be sometimes and how good he is with the jive.

Also, like a week back we got these really cool Camelbak sippers. B and I carried it out everywhere, no really, i mean everywhere! And we made promises like we will drink 2/3 litres of water everyday. It took him exactly 5 days to lose that bottle. Easy come, easy go.

Friends

True Story: With really really good friends and best friends, no matter how much time has elapsed since you've met them you'll always end up falling into comfortable rhythm of exchanging even the minutest details of your existence, details of your boys and life in general, it never feels foreign.

So comfortable in this realization I made my journey from London Marleybone to Birmingham Snow Hill. The 2 hour long journey didn't seem too long, what with all the uber pretty scenery all around me. I tried taking pictures but the run down smartphone camera didn't do any justice to what I saw. I reached Naina's uni and a glass of Guinness was waiting for me...chilled and all. That girl is really after my heart. I won't bore you with the details of an extremely girly weekend evenly sprinkled with fun and craziness and lots of wine.

The highlights of the was a massive shopping spree, Stratford-Upon-Avon, getting attacked by a Swan, the goodbye and missing my train. I almost didn't make it to Stratford, thinking it would be a good idea to shop rather than seeing Shakespeare's birthplace. You know since it's been quite some time since the dude's said hello to God and is not really around to appreciate my interest. Almost. I knew I'd have none of that when Naina said 'Shut Up! Let's Go.' I just knew there was no winning there.

While we were in the throes of re-living our childhood by trying to remember everything about the perfect childhood we had. Now that we look back, everything was exactly what made a perfect childhood undiluted by PSPs, Laptops & drugs. Anyhoo, I don't have time for reminiscing with the super busy work days.

Also, I'm particularly excited since Sagnik promised that he's going to give me the a major 411 on his boyfriend or the one who he wants as his boyfriend and cook some lip-smacking Indian food for me. Now right there are two things I love, relationship stories AKA others business & food.

In other things, day after tomorrow, is the birthday of a VERY good friend of mine and the whole effing gang is going to party, drink, misbehave - you know what we usually do. And I'm going to miss it. I'm FUCKING pissed about it. FUCKING PISSED. I want to be there MORE than I want to be there in Scotland. And their pings are only making me more homesick.

But really, no place is fun unless you have the right people to hang out with. I clearly have more fun at home (no sexual innuendo intended). Ok I'm gonna go, walk to Leicester square (no biggie) and clear my mind, take that edge off, you know. My backs been horrible, but I'm a superhero. Oh I didn't tell you about that? That's a story for another post...catch you cats later!

Of Quarter Life & Rants...

I turned 25 this May 2. Remember how I said that birthdays stressed me out? Well, I thought this birthday was going to take the cake for sure, what with all the over emphasis that people lay on turning 25 and the expectations we overload ourselves with. Well, guess what nothing of that sort happened! Because my Fab & Out-Of-This-World Boyfee decided that he's gonna change some rules and make this a stress-free, fun-overload day.

Result: Copious amounts of alcohol is still running through all of our blood vessels. It's a miracle that none of our livers cried out for a transplant. And while most people have one surprise birthday bash...I had TWO! I told you Mr. B was changing them rules, hell yeah!

And, no I wasn't stressed. Far from it! I wasn't regretting a moment of anything in my life. I mean, I was surrounded by people who understood me, were like me, and didn't know shit about what to do with life. Hell no, no 'crisis' there! I love my friends, I LOVE Mr. B for knowing exactly what to do and how to do it.

Also, while we were in the throes of celebrating my quarter life The U.S.A decided, 'What the hell, it's a Sunday night, let's make this world a better place and hunt down Osama...kill him, in fact!' I'm happy for the world in general if that happened, though I have to say I'm still kinda skeptical there... I mean no real pictures, no real information except 'Justice has been done.' Whatever, I'm not saying too much. Because it was more than just a manhunt for a lot of people. One friend of mine sat down and prayed and cried for her room-mate when she heard this. It really was a lot more than a man hunt.

Also, I have a Rant to get rid of. I'm really with all of my mighty (or not) existence hating on a girl. Just because, she's so fucking desperate! I mean can you leave your ex ALONE, woman? I really want to call her all kinds of badwords (oh yeah, I could give any one a run for their money) but I promised I wouldn't. And usually, I don't break promises. I swear on my motherfucking existence I will slap the fucking daylights out of her if I ever see her. No, sweetheart (for the want of a badword), your blog entries DO NOT ensure your ex running back to you. And, if blog entries are all it takes for him to go running back to her...well, that'd be the Armageddon of your fucking life.

Birthday

Birthdays! I love birthdays! As long as it's you and not me.

You're a friend I love and adore, you're the boyfriend I want to spend my life with, You're the mom and dad I love and respect, you're the sister I can't stop fighting with, you're a friend I grew up with. When it comes to all of them I cannot not think of big ways to surprise them or a big party to make their day.

But. When it comes to me I would rather curl up and watch some TV. I don't know why. Probably if you get me up to party or some thing like that I would, but initiating something on that day? Not me!

I think this started when I was 16 and a few months. August, it was August. I started walking towards school. As soon as I reached the gate, I saw some of my friends standing there looking solemn, a grim sharp look on their faces. I stopped in my tracks. I could almost feel the announcement coming but I didn't want to hear it at the same time.

Anurag. A friend, brother, confidante I grew up with. A long time ago our mothers decided they should take both of us to this Teachers' picnic that happened annually. I met this shy little boy who refused to talk. I offered to play badminton, hop scotch, jump the rope and everything I could think of with him.

No, he said.
But do you want to play scrabble?
Yes, I don't mind.

The geek inside of me approved. And we became friends. Not hang-out all the time, play on the streets, get grubby and dirty together in the mud kind of friends. But the kind that would sit together after school and finish homework while we waited for our Moms to finish all their work at school. And along with it came birthdays. On the eve of my birthday I would go out with my parents for dinner. And I always asked him to join us. He always did.

He had been so troubled those last few months. I had hardly ever talked to him. And I heard from common friends that he was... busy with this and that and never happy. And I had never got the time to actually sit and ask him what was wrong. Maybe if I had, things would have been different. I could have tried to help him. When I was ready to hear about him I learned he was found on the railway tracks, barely recognizable. He was a happy kid all the while I knew him. I didn't believe he would do that himself. But we never found out.

Over the years I have celebrated birthdays and loved it. Mainly because I have friends who are ready to party anytime of the day or night and won't take no for an answer when it comes to birthday celebrations. But every birthday since then I have thought of him and always will.