It's Manic, This Addiction.

Masterchef Finals Week - you are killing me!

Long Distance Birthday & Being Alone...

... are both things that I apparently suck at. 

There's something very not fun about it being your boyfriend's birthday when he's not in the country. But there is something extremely exciting about knowing that he's living his dream! That’s how I’m spending this September 26, the day the boyfee was born.

Speaking of birthdays, first time since I left home, which is more than 8 years, I was at home for Dad’s birthday. This kind of turned out well because we got to shop along with Dad and eat beautiful Bengali food. However, this is the year where vacations to go home is nothing like, well…vacations. This is the year when I spend ridiculous amounts on things I usually wouldn’t invest in and not to mention the liberal dose of how-to-save-money conversations with the folks.

So with B living it up in the states and my mini-home-vacation over I have the house all to myself. Which, funnily enough, I don’t like much. I used to live by myself for almost 4 straight years. 2 years I stayed with this girl who used to pull night shifts and we’d only meet on Sundays – which obviously doesn’t count as staying with a person. It’s like meeting the woman in the local salon every 2 weeks. Anyhow, I used to love living alone with a vengeance. With all the things that I could possibly need on one side of my double bed and me on the other. Amazing stuff, that! And I remember the apprehension within me when I finally made the decision to properly move in with Uroy and then B. I thought it was the end of an era, which it kind of was.

Now with the entire house to myself I can’t get myself to do it. To stay alone. So I’m running to URoy’s place. Not that it’s any better because the bitch and a half made me watch Paranormal Activity 3 till 1:30 in the morning and then to “erase the bad memory” as P puts it we talked about past life regression analysis and how trauma of a previous life continue into other lives and recurring nightmares and what they could mean. And because talking about nightmares and past life regression never helped anybody sleep well I’m trying not fall asleep on my keyboard by writing this post.

Love-Hate

Sometimes I'm not sure if I should be grateful for the technology.

Doppelgangers

Well eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers. These completely different people who just happen to look like us. Five years ago? That girl was pretty great. But doppelganger Robin? She's amazing. - Ted Mosby, HIMYM

If you were me September would be a ka-razy month for you. In a good way. Almost 50% of the people in my life who are important have their birthdays on September. Mom, Dad, Mr. B, Mr B's dad, BFF,2 of my fav girls, 2 of my closest cousins, one childhood friend and the list goes on. And if the first birthday of the month is anything to go by...I can probably only rest when October hits.

But with birthdays comes surprises. I think I like surprises even though I pretend to hate them. I mean I'm not sure. I haven't figured it out yet. You'd think at 26 I'd be able to tell if I like a certain thing or not. Turns out that's not how I roll. I mean some surprises you are bound to love. For example a surprise Katy Perry concert bang in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard on the day of my visit! True Story.

So I keep wondering if it's as difficult for other people to figure themselves out. It's fun, sometimes. But there are times when I could definitely do without the uncertainties. We are all looking to find ourselves through our travels, reading, adventures, work, friends, family etc. But by the time we find ourselves do we become a different person? Do we find someone we never were? Just doppelgangers who act, talk and walk like us?

Doesn't make any sense? I know. Me too.