November 22, 2011

5 Minutes


When a woman says "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" and when a man says "Let me call you back in 5 minutes", both essentially have the same time frame in mind.

So, Dear Men, when you groan, get angry and throw a fit over why she can't be ready in "5 minutes" think of how much time it would take you to "call her back"

And, Dear Women, before you free-fall into depression, become suicidal and decide to slash your wrists because he hasn't called you back in "5 minutes" think of all of the hours you've had him waiting because your ass didn't look too flattering.

November 21, 2011

Selfish Love

It's difficult for people to be not busy. Because that's what we humans have evolved into. We gone through years and years of changes and evolution to become a breed that has so much to do at any given point in time that they hardly have time for themselves. There is so much clutter in our lives in forms of meetings, people you HAVE to connect with, emails that have to be sent out, reservations to be made, things you absolutely need to shop and so on and so forth that we always tend to eat into the time that should be about 'The Real Deal' in our lives. Things that matter the most.

Probably the only thing that hasn't evolved enough in humans is that stupid crazy heart. You know you don't have a care in the world, you don't have the time either or enough days in your calendar but that heart of yours will still go and find people that you want to do little things for, want to give some of that precious me-time of yours to, want to go all out for. Sometimes, these people are friends, cherished roommates or lovers.

But like I said, even those friends/lovers/roommates can get busy in this thing called Life. It's different (I Think) when you're spending 9/10 hours in a day with them sharing that office space. Keeping in touch is easy, asking about each other much easier. Well, I understand the difficulty of it all. I'm really bad at keeping in touch. Especially when life is flooded with things/issues/situations I've never faced before. Actually, you know that's not quite true. I'm only bad with talking on phones. You write me a 2 line email I will reply with a 100 lines. I like writing long, nice emails. And I do just that with most of my friends.

It is just that very few of your friends/roommates/lovers will know you enough and ask if You are feeling OK. If You are doing good. Because, while all tough situations in life may not be about you, you will still need the strength, compassion, love and understanding to go through with it.

Whenever, I'm at Pasta's place she'll always ask "You holding up fine?" or something to that effect. And will always leave me an offline/online message asking if I'm doing okay. And at the end of the day that's all you need. To know that there's someone who's thinking about You and sometimes only about you.

Because, we all need a little bit of selfish love at times.

November 15, 2011

How To Make Friends (No, Seriously You Need This)

So after a marathon month of September, and the ginormous F1 weekend, and the last few weekends I have realised that everybody needs some ground rules before you jump into a life-long friendship.

1. Please make sure all your friends do not have their birthdays in the same damn month. Unless you just inherited some major dough from a rich-ass uncle of yours AND you're a person who shares.

2. General advice would be to have some teetotallers in the group. You know some people who will probably hold you back from drinking for a week straight. Not people who'll say "Let's have beer bombs" or "Let's do cognac shots" after your 13th drink.

3. People who would rather have coffee/lemonade to get rid of their hangover instead of beer.

Yes, those are the ground rules. You need them, you do. Or you definitely will at some point in time.

November 14, 2011

Dance Dance

So I date a guy who jives so good, you'd wish he was a ball of chocolate that you could eat. And P dates URoy who dances like a dream in her sexy way. I mean ALL four of us can do the club dancing, shake a leg or even two and even look good/hot/sexy while doing it.

But the deal with P and me is that our better halves are literally the Better Half when it comes to ballroom dancing, jive etc etc. So that night out when all of us were dancing away to the music not worried about anybody at all, we saw B and URoy dancing in their usual effortless style. Needless to say, not being quitters we collectively thought - Dammit, we could do it as well. Yes, we danced.

We got the moves wrong, stepped on each others toes, probably cursed each other a few times too, and in the middle of it we realised that we don't really know how to end a dance gracefully. So P said, 'Lets just clasp our hands and charge out of the dance floor' and that's how it ended. Fine performance overall. Nobody was injured, no beer bottles smashed, and no broken toe bones. We did good, P!

But that's when I realised why people need to fit like a jigsaw and why we need a better half after all. Broken toe bones & general injuries are better avoided.

November 13, 2011

Not Easy, A Settler & Bitch Bashing

It's not easy without constant internet access. But it's easy to fall out of an old routine and into a new one, especially if the new routine defines Lazy. It's easy to take care of people you love, relentlessly.

What is not easy is to stop missing your Plus Ones. It's not easy to stop missing your morning Costa coffee. It's not easy to keep up with the patience you absolutely need for a job hunting spree.

But on the brighter side I can say the phrase which has always intrigued me - I'm in between jobs!

Really, I've always wondered what that would sound like when I say it like I mean it. Well now I know. It usually gets people thinking the following:

1. You're no good.
2. You can't hold a job.
3. You're nutcase for not having a back up before leaving.

Well, they've obviously never taken risks in life. The thing is I'm not a Settler. I can't settle for things that don't motivate, or make me feel good about me. Or things that are not taking me anywhere. That is why I can't settle for the 2 penny company jobs that are coming my way. I want the Right thing.

In other things, I'm totally hating on this big fat chick who thinks I-don't-know-what about herself. The only thing worse than a raving mad bitch is a bitch who pretends to be your friend. Have the decency to say what you have to on a person's face. And maybe I wouldn't be venting it out had it been about me. But you hurt a loved one - then you better gear up for all of my wrath/fury.

The thing about hate is, it is blinding and blinding in waves. Sometimes the hate is so blinding I swear had she been anywhere near me I could pass her through a shredder. Ok, I don't want her to die and all, no I'm not saying that but I do hope she gains like 10 pounds before her wedding, becomes downright obese in the next 6 months, falls flat on her face and accidentally ends up swimming in sewage water.

The boy thinks that we shouldn't be banking on a couple of people to tell us the absolute truth about somebody. I'm of the school of belief that there is no smoke without fire. So here's to hoping that I don't meet her anytime soon. And I'll try out my very well concealed zen-like state for now.

November 6, 2011

The Thing About Garlic that it's the best food/ingredient in the world. Can you imagine food without garlic. There is something blissful about a garlicky curry. Yesterday I bought pickled garlic. Almost slobbered all over B and the shopkeeper while buying it.

The only thing to keep in mind is not smell of garlic when you're kissing! Otherwise, garlic days are here again.

November 3, 2011

I Hate This Part Right Here

The last few days have been a roller coaster ride. No not the 3 days for drinking out my wits part. But the emotional part.

I'm sitting in this room, tea in hand, remembering how much that Costa Coffee in office I miss I can't help but tear up a little bit. No. I'm not in love with that coffee. It just reminds me of everything and everyone I love and adore in the Big G. Reminds me of the routine that has been a part of me for the last 4 odd years, defined me even. Well, I always knew that leaving Big G would be the toughest thing I've ever had to do.

Going through the customary 'exit' motions of the day I made it a point to not think about it. Now was not the time. After realizing that all formalities could not be completed today I started to relax and by that I mean I stopped running around/pushing people away from me like a seasoned rugby player. Then I set out to send out my goodbye email...and that's when it struck me. Deep Breath. I needed to thank these people who have been everything I wanted and could have asked for :

The first friends I ever made. Thank you for making those first days a lot more bearable and less scary.
The friends who grew on me over time. Thank you for making me realize that first impressions are not always right.
The husband and wife who were more than happy to make their home my weekend retreat.
To the friends who couldn't be more unlike each other. Thank you for re-instating that opposites do attract.
The girls who were ready to forgive, forget (& beyond) every mistake I ever made and in fact cover for it too.
For the guys whom I probably owe in crores. Thank you for all the ciggies you let me bum off you.
For the boys and girls who were friends, family and philosophers & more.
And of course the better half.

I made a conscious effort to not think too much about it while I was leaving, going through all the 'lasts'. The last time I swiped my badge, the last lunch, the last every-damn-thing. I didn't want to bawl my eyes out and scare the living daylights out of everyone around me. So I just concentrated on the good part - I'll meet all of them 2 days later, I can come here anytime I want, I can sell my stocks anytime I want. What almost undid me were the sad, trying-to-control-the-tears look on M's and URoy's faces. And the replies from friends far away. I still haven't replied back...I will when I can get myself to do it.

So, while I don't know what to do without you guys I'm sure things will fall into place eventually. Like someone said, "Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together." I'm banking on whoever said this.

But this part right here, where I'm twirling my cup of tea & trying hard to reason with myself, I hate it. I hate this part right here.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...