September 5, 2011

A Rant, A Love, A Movie ~ Times They Are A-Changin'

So, ok, I understand I'm a bawler, never too far away from shedding a tear or two but very few things actually make me question myself and keep me down for a prolonged time. It's one of those times. Something is going on (but, something is always going on with me) and I'm having quite a tough time dealing with it. And what's scarier is that bit by bit it's making a dent in my confidence. About time, I bounced back.


But it's difficult to be down and out when you've got someone like B.

'You're the craziest, smartest, funniest, most intelligent girl I have ever met in my life. And I really mean it, I'm not just saying.' And then goes ahead and watches Scrubs with me till 2 AM hoping it would cheer me up.
And, out of all the days, Eno (Heena) pings me on a Monday morning with that new Eminem song and does her virtual drool. And M tells me I shouldn't be shouting via my status message (somebody stole my headphones, yo) because whoever took my headphones will now be scared to return them to me. And then I sit back and start working, knowing no matter what happens there are some people who will always find me smart, funny, attractive (read: Mr. B) and some friends who will always drool over Channing Tatum and Eminen with me (Read: Eno) or one who will always play 'who's got the better smart-ass comment' with me (Read: M).


On Sunday evening, for the first time in a really long time I sat alone in a room watching Bridget Jones' Diary on TV. I haven't done that in a long time. In fact, I haven't done that since exactly last September (2010). It was deja vu and weird all in the same go. My single life was full of sunday nights watching some major chick flick. Bridget Jones featured quite a few times. I think I even have some of the dialogues memorized. And I knew where I would feel like crying. I knew which scene in the movie would make me bawl my eyes out. And still I'd cry when those scenes came. But yesterday was different. I mean I still felt the familiar surge of tears welling up inside me when Bridget ran out in the cold hardly wearing the appropriate clothes but somehow I wasn't trying to identify myself in her and I wasn't reaching for a box tissues neither was I curled up in my bed ready to sleep with the TV on, alone in my place. For starters, I didn't identify with her, at all. I didn't need those tissues because as soon as the tears slid down, B walked in, aghast, "It's a mooooovie!" And all I had to do was walk into the other room and see B sprawled all over the bed to know I'm not alone. Change is awesome. Change is good.

And times they are a-changing.


Nas said...

Lovely post!
You're right, it's good to have a few people in our lives who work their wonders on us.

And change. The wider you open your arms the more you'll enjoy the whole process :).

upasana said...

Ur single life is long gone love! :) and yeah! I can totally imagine him saying something romantic and then just drifting off to some tv show! u guys are the jigsaw pieces remember?! :D

Sweta said...

That's so sweet :) Things and perceptions are different when you're going through different phases in life.And sometimes change is good.For you this is definitely awesome :)
Be happy.

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