April 26, 2011

Quote-Love #1

Long time ago on lazy summer afternoon I sat and watched this unassuming movie...I was 15, 16..? I don't quite remember. But in the climax, Danny (the male protagonist) describes what love means to him and what it's like...that quote never left me! Sharing with all of you because it's just that beautiful :)

"You know how when you're listening to music playing from another room? And you're singing along because it's a tune that you really love? When a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but you sing along anyway... then, no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again you're still in exact same time with it. That's what it's like. " ~ Music From Another Room

April 25, 2011

Music Monday #3 & Happy Quotes

I had the happiest weekend and since the happy fever has carried into the dull Monday as well...I'm going to bombard you guys with a super happy songs. You know how some songs are so happy that even if you are in your death bed you'd want to get up and dance and sway to the song?

Jason Mraz - I'm yours: That's my all time happy song (Before Mraz wrote/sang this, Someday by Sugar Ray used to be my happy song among some others, some Michael Buble in the later years too). Anyhoo, I'm Yours never become outdated but then how can Happy ever be outdated. Right!? Happy is something you can never OD on :)

Also, some happy quotes from my Happy Bombay Weekend:

1. "Karuuuuuuuuuu"
2. "Let's get a beer tower...AND a pitcher too!"
3. "We all know who are the mean ones in the group, Sonam and Pooja"
4. "What's up, the love of my life?"
5. "OMG, I love you guys!!!"
6. "You live on a beach! F.U.C.K"
7. "Mrin, I could do this everyday (sigh)"
8. "Hawaiin Shackkkk! YEA!"
9. "GOA. All of us. October!...Pleaaasseee!"
10. "She is it?" "Yes, she's is it."

April 22, 2011

I Am Not Good Husband Material!

The other day I went to office while Mr. B stayed home as he was down with a bug. When I came back, I was expecting suffocating amounts of love and attention to compensate for how tired I was feeling. By does-not-talk-too-much-calm-like-zen boyfriend was ...well, his usually self if not a little bit low because of the sickness.

That's when it hit me. Thank God, I'm a girl...because I would make a terrible husband/bread winner. Because I'm going to be HIGH on expectations as soon as I enter the house. Or..maybe...Mr. B would be bad wife/breadmaker material. I mean it's really easy for me to show love/give attention. Being almost half of Mr. B's size all I have to do climb up on him and be like a mini whale sunbathing. There, that's a lot of attention for ANY man. Trust me. Although, that whole whale and me comparison is making me uncomfortable again! Anyhoo, thank God we play the roles we do play :)

Was there a point to this post? I don't think so. But who makes the rules? I do :D

April 21, 2011

Weekend Education: Dating Don'ts Part 2

I'm back with my overflowing profound knowledge of the dating universe. While the last one was about how you get started on the journey with the right partner, this one is about the journey. Because, well you know there are some third parties who always have a pre-defined agenda to spoil what you have going on because they think it's cute or bitchy or retarded or whatever and they don't know that they are PISSING POEPLE OFF ENOUGH TO GET THEM MURDERED BECAUSE THEIR HEADS ARE SO FAR UP THEIR ASSES THAT EVEN RESEARCHERS WOULD THINK THEY ARE A DIFFERENT SPECIES! 'ASSOLORDS' ...maybe.

Okay, I feel better now. But, seriously, the way things are right you better be holding on to that guy for dear life because before you start acting pricey and bat your eyelids one too many times a third party would have had babies with your supposedly better halves.

Now, there are some ground rules before I start with my training on getting rid of Assolords. Let's call it Project: Demolition.

Ground Rules:

1. Your 'Better Half' isn't necessarily better than you.
       Corollary to 1: This means he is prone to cheating unless you are convinced he/she is devoid of any genitals. 
2. Murphy's Law: Just when you think he has sworn his entire sperm sac/uterus (whatever the case may be) to you he/she will somehow end up being attacked by an over-hormonal bitch/dog. For what happens next refer to Ground Rule 1.
3. You are allowed to attack/mutilate/castrate any third party (referred to in Ground Rule 2) that appears in your life. Except killing almost everything else is allowed.
4. This post does not take into consideration the Laws of the State which could result in imprisonment or trials.
5. Because of Ground Rule 4 this post will give you techniques of combatting or demolishing the Third Party without jeopardizing your life career etc.

Okay here goes...

1. Get Your Girl Army Together

Cold shoulders, snide comments, looks with daggers, bitchy once overs - Your weapons. These people we are dealing with can deal with all of these one by one but not all of them together. So get your army and make sure they are being bombarded with these and more at all times. Relentlessly. Till they give in and decide it's better to not have such negative people in their lives. We are of course not negative. Just pretending to be *smile*
Examples: Drop a coke on them and be like - Oops, I'm soooo sorry. How could I have done that! I really didn't see, you know.
Accidentally bump into them, Hard
Look at her top and say, OMG this is such a nice shirt/top/whatever. If you lost an inch around your waist it would look so nice on you!

2. PDA

Indulge in nauseating amounts of PDA in front of them. If it's nauseating for you, rest assured it's nauseating for them. They are bound to back out.

3. Gum In Hair

This will ensure she gets PWNED and knows that she can't mess with you. Ofcourse this is the part that comes when you think nothing else is working. Buy your favorite chewing gum, chew it for sometime and then with a flair, that only a professional thief like Danny Ocean could have, stick it on her hair. She'll chop her hair off and hopefully look ridiculous. But she'll also know not to be around YOU!

Now that you are well equipped and prepared, have fun in the weekend!

April 19, 2011


Birthdays! I love birthdays! As long as it's you and not me.

You're a friend I love and adore, you're the boyfriend I want to spend my life with, You're the mom and dad I love and respect, you're the sister I can't stop fighting with, you're a friend I grew up with. When it comes to all of them I cannot not think of big ways to surprise them or a big party to make their day.

But. When it comes to me I would rather curl up and watch some TV. I don't know why. Probably if you get me up to party or some thing like that I would, but initiating something on that day? Not me!

I think this started when I was 16 and a few months. August, it was August. I started walking towards school. As soon as I reached the gate, I saw some of my friends standing there looking solemn, a grim sharp look on their faces. I stopped in my tracks. I could almost feel the announcement coming but I didn't want to hear it at the same time.

Anurag. A friend, brother, confidante I grew up with. A long time ago our mothers decided they should take both of us to this Teachers' picnic that happened annually. I met this shy little boy who refused to talk. I offered to play badminton, hop scotch, jump the rope and everything I could think of with him.

No, he said.
But do you want to play scrabble?
Yes, I don't mind.

The geek inside of me approved. And we became friends. Not hang-out all the time, play on the streets, get grubby and dirty together in the mud kind of friends. But the kind that would sit together after school and finish homework while we waited for our Moms to finish all their work at school. And along with it came birthdays. On the eve of my birthday I would go out with my parents for dinner. And I always asked him to join us. He always did.

He had been so troubled those last few months. I had hardly ever talked to him. And I heard from common friends that he was... busy with this and that and never happy. And I had never got the time to actually sit and ask him what was wrong. Maybe if I had, things would have been different. I could have tried to help him. When I was ready to hear about him I learned he was found on the railway tracks, barely recognizable. He was a happy kid all the while I knew him. I didn't believe he would do that himself. But we never found out.

Over the years I have celebrated birthdays and loved it. Mainly because I have friends who are ready to party anytime of the day or night and won't take no for an answer when it comes to birthday celebrations. But every birthday since then I have thought of him and always will.

April 15, 2011

I Just Thought That...

You should know that I'm in it for the long haul. No dreams of Starbucks or Victoria's Secret can take me away from this place or you.

Just making sure you know.

April 14, 2011

Monologue #3 (Theme: Random)

So I'm in this super random mood where everything random keeps coming to my mind and here's what's been making me laugh out of the blue and making people think I'm a certified nutcase.

1. Smoking [Insert Cigaretter Brand] Slims is like having sex with a guy who has a really thin you-know-what. I mean it's just not the right size and not a right fit in your hands. At the risk of sounding a wee bit gross...it's just not THICK enough. Know what I mean?

2. A month or so back I walked into the S. Oliver store in one of the malls. It has some really good stuff except it's ridiculously expensive! But the sales person there was super helpful and nice. I came across this loose bell bottomed khaki pants that I LOVVVEEEDD (get the idea). So much so that I pictured myself wearing them and looking super fancy and shit. Only to have the sales person tell me, 'Ma'am, this won't look good on you, you need an *apple-shaped* body for that.' Whaaaaaat? APPLE SHAPED BODY?! who the fuck has an apple shaped body. Does it even exist? Mrin thinks he meant "pear-shaped" but that doesn't sound good either, ya know? Fruits compared to body shapes, not happening ya'll!

3. Today at lunch Mrin and I were talking about how there's is no way we can loose enough weight to look good on the beach for my much awaited Mumbai trip (Some of my fav girlfriends together along with Mr. B = crazy time alert!). And suddenly, without any intimation Mr. B says 2 words that is bound rattle my existence! "Free Willy." He says. Free Willy? FREE WILLY? Really? When I talk of wearing bathing suits and shit he thinks of a Killer Whale? I mean why would you think of any kind of whale when I talk of wearing bathing suits? I reming you of a WHALE? Nooooo.
GYM. TODAY. For Sure.

April 13, 2011

I Miss

It's been half an hour since I've been out of the house, taking a brisk walk in the neighborhood. And I haven't received one call or sms asking me where I am.

And suddenly everything I hated about being at home made me miss my crazy, cool & uncomfortable-with-PDA family with an almost physical ache. I miss you guys. I think I'm gonna stop right here for the fear of losing all control and giving in to the overwhelming urge of crying. I really don't wanna scare these leisurely evening joggers.

April 12, 2011

The One Where I Did Nothing

April 11: I decided I am going to  start gymming for sure this time. No more dilly dallying, no more wishy-washyness about this shit anymore. I mean how does it matter if NONE of my friends go to the gym. EVER. What if they choose to smoke instead. I will evangelize this whole system. Well, I don't think it's actually a system when a group 6/7 people are doing it but hey imma call it anything I want. I could feel the steel of a resolve building inside of me. Hell to the Yes!

April 12: We got up AFTER the office cab had arrived. So we literally had like 10 mins to get ready...or less. Yea well, that's how we roll ya'll. And out of those 10 mins I spent 8 mins on deciding whether I should carry my gym clothes to work. Is this the right day for me to start gymming? Can my metabolism take the sudden change? What if in the long run it affects my health? Finally I was like FUCK IT lets get this show on the road.

After a whole day's worth of work with my energy levels at an all time low I decided since I am in office till about 11 PM today let me wait out the boredom and low energy levels till I am my gymmy (?) best.

1 hour.

2 hours.

Didn't happen. And then I ate. Everything the cafe was serving. So my blood constitution is probably something like this:

(in order of count/number)

1. rice molecules
2. potato moleciles
3. ice cream molecules
4. red blood cells

So here I am at 9PM. Sitting in a meeting room. Wearing my Gym clothes. I don't know what the fuck made me wear them because NOW I'm too lazy to change back into my normal clothes. Try to lose weight comes with a shit load of crap! There's gotta be an easier way. Like may be not eating for a month. Maybe then I can shed a kilo/pound whatever.

Don't ask me why! Having sex with lights on is of utmost importance to me. Fuckface!

April 11, 2011

Figments Of My Imagination

"...I would have named them Grace & Hope"

She gripped the edges of the washbasin in a dilapidated washroom of this huge hospital. She could feel her palms becoming cold and clammy as she stared at her knuckles that had turned white because she held onto the basin so tight. She almost didn't have the courage to walk out of the washroom with her urine sample. Then slowly but steadily she looked into the mirror and wondered why she was so afraid to take the urine sample to the attendant. It had already been confirmed. She was pregnant. This sample was for some other tests. So why the hesitation? It really, actually took her only 2 secs to figure that one out. Just by walking out of the room she would be setting in motion the events that would lead to the operation she was dreading. But what choice did she have. Many would say, it was the wrong thing to do. But she couldn't, she really couldn't. This wasn't the right time. They weren't ready. She couldn't bring a baby into this world knowing she wouldn't be able to give it her everything. It just wasn't fair. She knew what she had to do. So, why did she get this sinking feeling.

Deep Breath. And she walks out of the room. Her vision is blurry but the decision has already been taken. Handing over the urine sample she set in motion the events that would remain etched in memory as long as she lived. As long as she breathed.

As she waited for the cab to reach the hospital. Everything about the meeting with the gynac kept replaying over and over in her thoughts till she thought she'd lose her mind!

Doc: Hi, how long has it been since...
Her: 2 weeks approx
Doc: Ok. Lie down.
Her: Ok
Doc: What do you do?
Her: I work in this agency downtown.
Doc: Definitely pregnant. Looks more like 8 weeks. A pill won't work We need a medical termination. How is tomorrow for you?
Her: Tomo is good, but, 8 weeks...
Doc: Good. Don't come alone. And don't eat anything. Get these tests done and be here by 8:30 sharp.

She fought to regain control. She had to go back to him. Needed to be with him. Hold his hand and just sit.

As soon as she walked into the office and saw him she let the tears flow. She let go of the control she had desperately held onto. She'll try and be strong later. For now, she just wanted to break down.

It was the morning after. She tried to soak everything in. She tried to remember every little detail. Even though there wasn't anything happy or nice about today she still wanted to remember every little thing that happened and she had no idea why. As they drove into the parking lot of the Hospital a shiver ran down her spine. Wishing desperately that she could have been a real life re-run of Juno but knowing that couldn't happen.

The wait for the nurses to appear. The change  of clothes. The super loose hospital clothes. Going to a separate bed where she waited some more. Making sure he was there all along. Everything was a blur. The only thing that kept her from losing her ming was his presence. The assurance that he wasn't going anywhere. Then popping some pills that started this excruciating pain. They really should have warnings for something like this. As she lay in the gurney which was being taken to the OT she could only hear her heart throbbing. Everything else was like a background score. As they wheeled her into the OT she caught a glimpse of his face. And she saw badly veiled panic. Closing her eyes she fought for control.

The doctor tried to make some conversation. In vain. Nothing registered. As the attending anesthesiologist pumped some general anesthesia into her veins the doctor said something else that caught her attention. She remembered the Gynac saying it as well.

Doc: Since the uterus looks like almost 8 weeks into the pregnancy we'll give you some antibiotics later on so that there are no post-operation complications.
Her: But, it can't be 8 weeks.
Doc: I know what you mean. Looks like there is more then one in there.

She wanted to say something, she wanted to cry. But the anesthesia had taken over. The cold liquid was in her veins doing what it did best.

2 hours later when she woke up, still drowsy, but able to process everything all she wanted to was to see him and make sure nothing had changed in the world while she was away. Later, after some usual hospital drama, with him sitting by her side she thought...

...Next time, I'm going to be here on my own terms and conditions. Next time, I'll prepare for you (both of you) and give you everything you need. And Love. I'll give you the love you deserve. For now, you'll be the Hope and Grace of my life.

April 5, 2011

Shenanigans & Wishin' & Hopin' & Prayin'

I'm usually a very secure person. I know the things I feel, I believe in the friendships I have forged over the years and I know who to fall back on. Except...it's not so simple when it comes to falling in love and then being in love. The shenanigans of my past won't let me rest in peace. In the dead of the night sometimes I'd wake up and think if this what you really want?

Then you turn to my side and weight of your arm is on my stomach, the anxiety disappears. Then it gets me thinking...

You know when I'm anxious. You know when I need a smile.
And you know if I need to hold your hand or when I need some random attention.
When I'm restless, you'll know.
And when I'm down and out you know exactly what to say.
I like the way we fit perfectly and the way your palm engulfs my hand.
The protective hand over the small of my back.
The way you stare when I'm sleeping.
The way you pretend you weren't staring when I catch you at it!
The downward droop of your mouth when I'm sad and they way you always come back after a fight.
The way you say 'You're so beautiful' and actually mean it, even on my worst days.
The way you share your precious PVR popcorn tub with me. Only.

If this isn't love, I don't know what is. Fuck em Shenanigans!

In other things, today is a day when I'm wishing and hoping and praying for the best for a couple of people I have come love and adore more than I imagined I would. I know things will be fine, I know we'll survive this. Please let this just be a false alarm. Amen.

At A Loss Of Words

There are some moments in your life that leave you desperately grasping for the right words to describe it. Last Saturday was one such day. A month and a half worth of excitement, anticipation poured into that one moment of Team India's glory of lifting the World Cup. People were out on streets, complete strangers wishing each other, shaking hands, smiling incessantly. I have never seen Delhi like this, in fact, I have never seen my country like this. I should probably not say anything else. I should probably stay at a loss of words. There is no way I can even begin to explain what went down on the streets and in our hearts.

April 1, 2011

Black Friday!

ARGGHH! How I hate this song? Rebecca Black...why, why, why! She's like the new Justin Beiber. Just that don't let her be all over the radio. My nerves cannot take that kind of constant assault. In case you haven't seen the video here it is.

I mean I don't how in God's name you have avoided it since some Tweetomaniacs have made it some freaking trending topic and all and she's all over Youtube and Facebook. I mean she's pretty...Dumb. Yea, PRETTY DUMB. Here is what I don't like about the song.

1. Dumb Lyrics
2. RB goes to a bus stop waiting for a bus but what actually pulls up in front of her is a freaking convertible.
3. Her dumb friends who actually look a little scared of her and are so not enjoying the song she is singing but just pretending to.
4. How the girl tries to TEACH us that Saturday is after Friday and Sunday is after Saturday. REALLY?
5. That over aged man who pops up in the middle of of an under aged video. Pedophile!
6. We all love Friday but do we really need to make a song out of it! Jeez
7. Her 'Friday, Friday' sounds like 'Fried Eggs, Fried Eggs.'

It'sKingleyBitch of Youtube fame really sums it up the BEST. I love him. Here's his Video :) Let's end this video on a good bitchy note

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...