December 27, 2011

Blogoversary, Resolution Wisdom, Life List Alert!

Tomorrow is my first Blogoversary! Yay. Wow, we survived people! Also, it'll be the end of another year. Maybe it's just me, but this year went by at lightning pace.

New year always brings with it hordes of resolutions, that more often than not we end up not doing or "breaking." So, I made up a list of resolutions that everyone can draw inspiration from and more more importantly are doable:

1. Eat everyday.
2. Sleep everyday.
3. Don't whine
4. Don't steal other people's boyfriends
5. Never flash a stranger
6. Don't daydream at work. Doesn't matter if owning a bakery looks glamorous in movies, not think about it as a career move unless you can bake better than...well, most pastry chefs of the world.

And here are resolutions you shouldn't make:

1. Lose weight/Go to gym EVERYDAY (please, get real.)
2. Get married by Valentines Day. (Well, you need a person of the opposite sex for that)
3. Stop using Facebook and Twitter. (Ha! let me see you do that)
4. Give up on alcohol. (Who're you kidding? Don't ruin the only good thing you have going for you!)
5. Become Awesome! (Seriously? Do you hear your self. No matter how much you want are NOT on How I Met Your Mother!)

In other things: I finished 6 items on my Life List! The last one being making a full three course meal for family and friends! I didn't even realize until I started talking about resolutions and what-not. There was: Russian Salad, Fried Fish, Chilli Chicken (It happens only in India), Hash Brown Potatoes & Fruit Cream. I think maybe, just maybe it was more than 3 courses. Job well done, good old me! So at the rate I'm going I might be done with my Life List in the next 7.5 years. That's not bad. But then, oh, I'll have more things I want to do...damn! it's vicious, never-ending cycle.

Anyway, till then I'll bask in the glory of getting some things done and having attained the super-power you need to overcome the trend of resolution-making.

December 26, 2011

First Day At Work

The last time I remember being genuinely nervous and having sweaty palms was in 2004 as I entered my college gates. Today, surprisingly, I was nervous! Ah, Mr. Change, why this kolaveri di?

But once the initial moment is over - it's amazing how easy things get. The best part was I knew everything about the things they talked about, but then, I guess that was the point of hiring me. Also, there is office boy who actually gets your coffee/tea right to your desk...yes, right to your desk! However right in the middle of the work day everything became a major blur...afternoon siesta time. But then I willed myself back to consciousness. It was my first day of work in a looong time - had to etch it in my memory.

However, I was the first to reach work, courtesy Mr. B driving me down. 'No! My baby's not going to work alone on her first day' - he put his foot down & I was more than happy to let him. SO I looked around the office, got an early cup of coffee, made plans on how I should decorate my desk while the others arrived. Once the zillion forms had been filled out and the bank account with 1500 priviledges set up, we had 2 hours to while away. Which is too bad...because all I wanted to do was run to B, who was 3 buildings away and give him a detailed account of how my day was. First day impressions are important!

So, the first day was pretty much perfect and subdued considering I didn't have to battle it against the Delhi Metro. I'll give you an update once I start using it. Because I may be a Public Transport Ninja...but commuting via Delhi Metro is no mean feat.

December 23, 2011

The Thing About People & Wants that people don't really know what they want when they need it & when they want it, they can't have it. Cinderella hit gold when they said 'you don't know what you got till it's gone.' I concur.

December 20, 2011

Take A Giant Leap Of Faith With Me

It's been 18 days since I've been here. I don't think I've been away from the blog that long since it started. It's going to become 1 year old in a week from now. How time flies. Anyhow, the shutdown was part intentional, part forced. I wanted to get rid of everything while I focused and concentrated on getting that right job. Sometimes it helps to not be distracted... by the internet I mean.

So while I plunge myself into the Road Never Traveled I'm scared, excited and skeptical at the same time. B-Boy is his usual positive self and for some reason my friends (my real friends, that is) have this indelible faith in me which more often than not leaves me flabbergasted. Also, thankfully somehow that last week or so has been jam-packed with events with no time to think about how I was going to tackle the future. Between friends, alcohol, overflowing love and catty fights it's easy to forget things that will eventually come and scare the daylights out of you.

So here I am a week from my joining date, 5 days from Christmas, 10 days from the New Year -  and all I can think about is that what a pleasant surprise this last year was! I remember thinking - Bring it on, 2011! and boy, did it bring it on and how!

There were goodbyes, but there were also amazing, fabulous new friendships forged. There were tears but there were also side-splitting, loud, insane laughter. We were broke but we splurged. We broke down but then we were so, so strong! There were fights but we also made up. This was the year, that gave us a lot but also took away loads, that changed us but also let us remain the same. And while remembering this, I realize it was really all about the faith.

That's what I like about the New Years - it makes you hopeful. That little glimmer of hope that tells everything's going to be alright. So, that's what I'm doing. I'm hoping and keeping the faith and asking you to take a Leap Of Faith with me. A giant leap of faith, at that.

December 2, 2011

Weekend Education: Dating Don't Part 3

Dating Don'ts are back to make your lives happier & less traumatic. This time a more advanced state of dating don'ts is in store for you. Let's say you managed to convince some poor fool that you are meant to be together...forever (yikes). You took his/her commitment phobia stomped on it and made it disappear for enough time so as to make him believe that he/she would be really happy with one person for the rest of their lives. So much so that the thought of kids, runny noses, minivans, houses with white picket fence and babyproofing that same house doesn't scare them out of their wits...anymore.

I will take a moment here and acknowledge the awesomeness that is you, because you managed to do something that a lot of people...well, can't.

However, let me tell you for most of you while you're dating - it is the best your relationship will ever be. There are addendums to that rule, but let's assume that is not for you, Ok? So when you're planning to seal the deal with a kiss and a bomb of a ring - here is what you should keep in mind:

Make sure you're alone while you're popping the question that keeps the human race moving forward. And maybe a few close friends for the after party. Trust me you need to do this. You need to remember how good you two are together and how happy you were while doing it. You need you're happiest memory in place for the times you want to throw utensils at each other!

Also, once the families take charge, there's no looking back. Everything goes in lightning speed and there's hardly enough time for you to catch your breath & the whole shabang. So, while you can, get the private moment and save it in your memory.

November 22, 2011

5 Minutes


When a woman says "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" and when a man says "Let me call you back in 5 minutes", both essentially have the same time frame in mind.

So, Dear Men, when you groan, get angry and throw a fit over why she can't be ready in "5 minutes" think of how much time it would take you to "call her back"

And, Dear Women, before you free-fall into depression, become suicidal and decide to slash your wrists because he hasn't called you back in "5 minutes" think of all of the hours you've had him waiting because your ass didn't look too flattering.

November 21, 2011

Selfish Love

It's difficult for people to be not busy. Because that's what we humans have evolved into. We gone through years and years of changes and evolution to become a breed that has so much to do at any given point in time that they hardly have time for themselves. There is so much clutter in our lives in forms of meetings, people you HAVE to connect with, emails that have to be sent out, reservations to be made, things you absolutely need to shop and so on and so forth that we always tend to eat into the time that should be about 'The Real Deal' in our lives. Things that matter the most.

Probably the only thing that hasn't evolved enough in humans is that stupid crazy heart. You know you don't have a care in the world, you don't have the time either or enough days in your calendar but that heart of yours will still go and find people that you want to do little things for, want to give some of that precious me-time of yours to, want to go all out for. Sometimes, these people are friends, cherished roommates or lovers.

But like I said, even those friends/lovers/roommates can get busy in this thing called Life. It's different (I Think) when you're spending 9/10 hours in a day with them sharing that office space. Keeping in touch is easy, asking about each other much easier. Well, I understand the difficulty of it all. I'm really bad at keeping in touch. Especially when life is flooded with things/issues/situations I've never faced before. Actually, you know that's not quite true. I'm only bad with talking on phones. You write me a 2 line email I will reply with a 100 lines. I like writing long, nice emails. And I do just that with most of my friends.

It is just that very few of your friends/roommates/lovers will know you enough and ask if You are feeling OK. If You are doing good. Because, while all tough situations in life may not be about you, you will still need the strength, compassion, love and understanding to go through with it.

Whenever, I'm at Pasta's place she'll always ask "You holding up fine?" or something to that effect. And will always leave me an offline/online message asking if I'm doing okay. And at the end of the day that's all you need. To know that there's someone who's thinking about You and sometimes only about you.

Because, we all need a little bit of selfish love at times.

November 15, 2011

How To Make Friends (No, Seriously You Need This)

So after a marathon month of September, and the ginormous F1 weekend, and the last few weekends I have realised that everybody needs some ground rules before you jump into a life-long friendship.

1. Please make sure all your friends do not have their birthdays in the same damn month. Unless you just inherited some major dough from a rich-ass uncle of yours AND you're a person who shares.

2. General advice would be to have some teetotallers in the group. You know some people who will probably hold you back from drinking for a week straight. Not people who'll say "Let's have beer bombs" or "Let's do cognac shots" after your 13th drink.

3. People who would rather have coffee/lemonade to get rid of their hangover instead of beer.

Yes, those are the ground rules. You need them, you do. Or you definitely will at some point in time.

November 14, 2011

Dance Dance

So I date a guy who jives so good, you'd wish he was a ball of chocolate that you could eat. And P dates URoy who dances like a dream in her sexy way. I mean ALL four of us can do the club dancing, shake a leg or even two and even look good/hot/sexy while doing it.

But the deal with P and me is that our better halves are literally the Better Half when it comes to ballroom dancing, jive etc etc. So that night out when all of us were dancing away to the music not worried about anybody at all, we saw B and URoy dancing in their usual effortless style. Needless to say, not being quitters we collectively thought - Dammit, we could do it as well. Yes, we danced.

We got the moves wrong, stepped on each others toes, probably cursed each other a few times too, and in the middle of it we realised that we don't really know how to end a dance gracefully. So P said, 'Lets just clasp our hands and charge out of the dance floor' and that's how it ended. Fine performance overall. Nobody was injured, no beer bottles smashed, and no broken toe bones. We did good, P!

But that's when I realised why people need to fit like a jigsaw and why we need a better half after all. Broken toe bones & general injuries are better avoided.

November 13, 2011

Not Easy, A Settler & Bitch Bashing

It's not easy without constant internet access. But it's easy to fall out of an old routine and into a new one, especially if the new routine defines Lazy. It's easy to take care of people you love, relentlessly.

What is not easy is to stop missing your Plus Ones. It's not easy to stop missing your morning Costa coffee. It's not easy to keep up with the patience you absolutely need for a job hunting spree.

But on the brighter side I can say the phrase which has always intrigued me - I'm in between jobs!

Really, I've always wondered what that would sound like when I say it like I mean it. Well now I know. It usually gets people thinking the following:

1. You're no good.
2. You can't hold a job.
3. You're nutcase for not having a back up before leaving.

Well, they've obviously never taken risks in life. The thing is I'm not a Settler. I can't settle for things that don't motivate, or make me feel good about me. Or things that are not taking me anywhere. That is why I can't settle for the 2 penny company jobs that are coming my way. I want the Right thing.

In other things, I'm totally hating on this big fat chick who thinks I-don't-know-what about herself. The only thing worse than a raving mad bitch is a bitch who pretends to be your friend. Have the decency to say what you have to on a person's face. And maybe I wouldn't be venting it out had it been about me. But you hurt a loved one - then you better gear up for all of my wrath/fury.

The thing about hate is, it is blinding and blinding in waves. Sometimes the hate is so blinding I swear had she been anywhere near me I could pass her through a shredder. Ok, I don't want her to die and all, no I'm not saying that but I do hope she gains like 10 pounds before her wedding, becomes downright obese in the next 6 months, falls flat on her face and accidentally ends up swimming in sewage water.

The boy thinks that we shouldn't be banking on a couple of people to tell us the absolute truth about somebody. I'm of the school of belief that there is no smoke without fire. So here's to hoping that I don't meet her anytime soon. And I'll try out my very well concealed zen-like state for now.

November 6, 2011

The Thing About Garlic that it's the best food/ingredient in the world. Can you imagine food without garlic. There is something blissful about a garlicky curry. Yesterday I bought pickled garlic. Almost slobbered all over B and the shopkeeper while buying it.

The only thing to keep in mind is not smell of garlic when you're kissing! Otherwise, garlic days are here again.

November 3, 2011

I Hate This Part Right Here

The last few days have been a roller coaster ride. No not the 3 days for drinking out my wits part. But the emotional part.

I'm sitting in this room, tea in hand, remembering how much that Costa Coffee in office I miss I can't help but tear up a little bit. No. I'm not in love with that coffee. It just reminds me of everything and everyone I love and adore in the Big G. Reminds me of the routine that has been a part of me for the last 4 odd years, defined me even. Well, I always knew that leaving Big G would be the toughest thing I've ever had to do.

Going through the customary 'exit' motions of the day I made it a point to not think about it. Now was not the time. After realizing that all formalities could not be completed today I started to relax and by that I mean I stopped running around/pushing people away from me like a seasoned rugby player. Then I set out to send out my goodbye email...and that's when it struck me. Deep Breath. I needed to thank these people who have been everything I wanted and could have asked for :

The first friends I ever made. Thank you for making those first days a lot more bearable and less scary.
The friends who grew on me over time. Thank you for making me realize that first impressions are not always right.
The husband and wife who were more than happy to make their home my weekend retreat.
To the friends who couldn't be more unlike each other. Thank you for re-instating that opposites do attract.
The girls who were ready to forgive, forget (& beyond) every mistake I ever made and in fact cover for it too.
For the guys whom I probably owe in crores. Thank you for all the ciggies you let me bum off you.
For the boys and girls who were friends, family and philosophers & more.
And of course the better half.

I made a conscious effort to not think too much about it while I was leaving, going through all the 'lasts'. The last time I swiped my badge, the last lunch, the last every-damn-thing. I didn't want to bawl my eyes out and scare the living daylights out of everyone around me. So I just concentrated on the good part - I'll meet all of them 2 days later, I can come here anytime I want, I can sell my stocks anytime I want. What almost undid me were the sad, trying-to-control-the-tears look on M's and URoy's faces. And the replies from friends far away. I still haven't replied back...I will when I can get myself to do it.

So, while I don't know what to do without you guys I'm sure things will fall into place eventually. Like someone said, "Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together." I'm banking on whoever said this.

But this part right here, where I'm twirling my cup of tea & trying hard to reason with myself, I hate it. I hate this part right here.

October 27, 2011

In Matters Of The Hair...

... I am not so blessed. I envy all of you with perfect, silky, shiny & more importantly, manageable hair.  There is SO much that I have to do to tame that frizzy, unruly mane of mine. For example, my friends like A, Nasa, URoy have to wash, condition and towel-dry their hair and ...voila! It look's perfect...

But no, not me. Apart from washing, double conditioning and properly towel drying my hair I have to, have to apply a hair serum. Wait a few minutes for the hair to dry further and then add a spray on 'moisture-kick' conditioner. Then blow dry my hair just the right amount so as to make sure my hair doesn't fall off when I'm 50. I have to go through this tedious routine every damn day.

And Winter is almost here. I dread my shower-time. But it's OK, I have perfect eyes, nose & smile.

October 26, 2011

It's Better To Burn Out, Than To Fade Away

I've had a lot of time to think these past few days since it hasn't been as crazy or whirlwind as my life usually tends to be. I'll be leaving the Big G soon. Next week, in fact. It's a long story that I don't want to get into. But the fact remains - How the in the living hell am I supposed to go through with it?

I mean, technically speaking I've already gone through with it - what with giving in the papers and all. But Big G is the only the thing I have known since college. Only thing I've sworn by. It gave a me a family, a family I chose. Everybody tends to say that when you leave college is when you step into the big bad world of corporate life. It doesn't really hold true when your with the Big G. It is now, as I move on to some other job will I be stepping into the big bad world for reals. But I ain't fizzling out - I'm gonna go out with a bang (or party, whatever you want to call it). Party till we drop on that last. There will be time to brood later.

So, dear reader who may also be recruiting, you are amaz... - Take me by the tongue...And I'll know you ..Kiss me 'til you're drunk, And I'll show you...All the moves like Jagger! I've got the moves like Jagger! I've got the moooooooooooves like Jaggerrrr...

Oh Sorry! I break into songs sometimes. Sorry about that.

So coming back to the point. You're so amazing that I'd catch a grenade for you (Bruno Mars Style). Please give me a job? I'm good. And I have a healthy IQ and EQ (refer to the first lines of the post) and I know how to balance my work and personal life (again, refer to the first few lines of the post) . Wouldn't you agree?

OK, now that's done I'd love for things to look a little better personally and professionally. Because just before I become jobless I'm going to rock-out in a Metallica concert. I know, very high-school/college student-y - but a legend is a legend, yo! Followed by of course the going-to-be-epic first time ever Formula One event in India. Yes, I'm psyched.

Too many different emotions converging in this melting pot of life. Sad, worried, happy, ridiculousness - feeling quite a few things right now. Oh but I'd deal with it (again), don't worry. Just think about that job, ok? And I'll think about that party.

October 21, 2011

Write You Off

Don't let anybody write you off.
You know what you are and what you will be.
You wear your scars & you carry your baggage.
It always takes a lot more than judging to know what it is
To be in someone else's shoes.
For all you know, you wouldn't be able to walk even a mile in mine.
You make your own stories & Stories can be powerful.
Just like you.

October 20, 2011

Laugh Lines

I love your laugh-lines. And I love my laugh-lines. Let's the world know we're having fun :)

October 19, 2011

Things I Wish I Could Say If I Only Knew What They Meant...

1. We're still friends! (how under the holyshittingsky do people do that?)
2. No hard feelings (There are always hard feelings. Always)
3. I'm an Investment Banker. (whaaat do they do exactly?)
4. I don't believe in best friends! (Okay, you anti-social animal)
5. Open Source is the best thing that's happened since Apple.
6. The problem lies in the carburetor or [insert car related jargon].
7. My mutual funds/infrastructure bonds/company stocks are looking bullish/bearish (This is where a lot more insight into what's an 'investment banker' would help.)
8. I want to find my inner peace. (It's difficult with so many imaginary friends I presume.)
9. I have a headache/migraine. (Trust me when I say, I've never had one. Hangovers don't count.)
10. I'm deeply committed. (Everybody is commitment-phobic)\
11. No, thanks, I don't drink.

October 18, 2011

This One's For You & Me

I have this friend. I love her to bits. The once in a while that we talk - it just gives me a whole new perspective. Each and every time. And a lot of times, bang in the middle of the night she'll ping me some song that I'm bound to fall in love with. More often than not it reflects in totality how I'm feeling. I still haven't figured out how she does that. The best part, though, is when I open my inbox first thing in the morning I'm greeted with the song that'll go on repeat for the rest of the day.

I hope all of you have that one/two/three people who know you enough to send the exact song you want to hear. I don't know where I would be without my plus ones.

This one's for you and me,Living out our dreamsWe're alright where we should beLift my arms out wide I open my eyesAnd now all I wanna seeIs a sky full of lighters...

30 or 3000

I told you I didn't feel like writing much. But the thing with this life is you'll end up doing things you think you didn't want to do. Especially, when your friends make it a point to tell you they miss not reading what you write. Be it someone who is 30 miles from here or someone who is 3000 miles from here. It's just that I'm so bad at keeping in touch, I'd rather post about my random life and make sure they're "in touch" in some way or the other.

So, I just hauled some ass and wrote....

October 17, 2011

The 100th!

This is my 100th post. Deep breath. This blog and the relationship I'm in right now - are the most committed I have ever been. So, obviously, I didn't think I'd reach my 10th post, let alone the 100th. So I'm thinking I'd just let myself be and write about anything that comes to mind...I know, feel free to leave. I'll understand :)

The trip back home was great...with a lot more 'meet the mom & extended family' happening and B, coming through with flying colors and what not. However, homeland is one place that is synonymous with good food... always. But this time it managed to surprise me as well with the biggest prawns I have ever had!

Biggest Prawns EVER!

Devilled Crabs - YUM!
However, what is a good trip home without a violent bout of fever following it? Kidding. Except, I wasn't laughing too much when I came down with worst case of Bronchitis this decade. I lost some kilos so I'm not really complaining. Almost.

I'm planning to eat a lot less you not bloat up again. Let's see how long this resolution lasts.

In other things, I'm just tired, resigned. This has probably been the reason why I haven't posted in a while. But my cronies told me they miss the fact that I haven't been writing. I looked at the Blogger dashboard and realized my 100th was due. So this is what came out. I'm still not over the 'tired' part. This in no way means a sabbatical...just that I need some time. To think. To write. To stabilize. And because of this, B, has a full-time job on his hands.

October 4, 2011

Religion, Meet Culture. Culture, Meet Religion.

Durga Pujo. The single most biggest festival in Eastern India. It of course at it's root is a religious festival where we worship the Hindu goddess Durga who basically comes back home (where, earth is home) for 14 days or such. But the main festivities last for only a week. Of course, over the years it's become one of the major socio-cultural event that the Eastern Indian society participates in.

This is probably the only religious festival where (thankfully) Religion has taken a back seat. It's like Religion and Culture met and had a fist fight (for some unknown reason) and Culture beat the holyshitingsky out of religion! I'll tell you why it's more of a social event than anything else:

1. People belonging to all religions are out on the streets for 5 whole days having fun, without a damned care in the world.
2. For the Eastern States its a 5-day long State Holiday! Now, who wouldn't like that! Everybody needs 5 day long state holidays. I mean, come on!
3. All the 'pandals' (or the decorative tents and structure where they house Goddess Durga's Idol for the whole week) have themes that vary from Brazil winning the football cup, the 9/11 WTC Attack, or the phenomenal success of Harry Potter or Titanic, Global Warming or sometimes based on ancient civilizations like the Incas or Egyptians. There is a whole glorious world out there when it comes to pandals.
4. Durga Pujo generated so much employment during that time of the year (for the street hawkers, pandal makers, priests and more) . It may be a temporary spike but it's helpful nonetheless. Also, it is usually going from the pockets of the richer to the lesser blessed. So you see? nothing to lose but much to gain :)

And not to mention, it's unadulterated fun. 

So yes, you're part of the festival if you do any or all of the following things:

1. Take a leave of 5 days.
2. Buy new clothes
3. Eat lots of street food.
4. Spend those 5 days doing nothing but catching up with friends and family.

All I'm saying is, I hope I can make people elsewhere understand how much I love and adore my culture and how all embracing it is. I'm not religious for most part. But this part right here with all the pomp and show of the such an essential part of my life that I'd love to infuse even a fraction of the enthusiasm I feel for it through what I'm writing. 

Dear Calcutta, can. not. wait!

October 3, 2011

I'd Rather Have a Bottle In Front Of Me

Yesterday was a Dry Day. For all of you peeps who don't live in India. Here's what Dry Day means. 'No alcohol will be served anywhere, anyplace even if your life depends on it!' Whattt? Of course your life can depend on alcohol! What about cough syrup huh? I mean if the government had their way they wouldn't even sell cough syrup you know...ooohhh too much alcohol! Blahest Blah.

I think it's to show respect to the day or event that they enforce a one-day ban on alcohol. Now now now, I'm only making assumptions here, because ofcourse I haven't bothered asking ANYBODY at all...because this seems down right stupidity. I mean who the hell pays respect by not drinking. As for me (and most people I know), I become more respectful and loving after guzzling a few. Hehe. But seriously, some delightful decision-making by the Government. 

Also, it's crazy how Mondays make you go batshit crazy. But if you're anywhere close to as awesome as I am you'd go shopping bang in the middle of a working Monday. Hell yea. AND help your boyfee blow up 5K. Just like that. Holy Shitsnacks. Also buy cute hair bands with bow on top :)

Bands with bows :)
Step 2, eat cheap chinese food. I don't think I will ever outgrow chinese food. Ever! I mean any time of any day if you give me an option to eat out and I get to decide on the will be chinese, for sure. And sometimes (If I'm back home) Biryani. I would like to think the-always-going-back-to-Chinese is not because of lack of imagination or exposure but because I really love that cuisine.

Step 3, another way to beat the Monday blues would be to postpone as much work as you can to Tuesday. I mean, sometimes you need to be working against a tight deadline. You know to keep you on your toes and stuff. Helps you step up your game and what not.

Anyhoo, some music for your Monday Blues:

You can't help but love anything that has Jagger in it or Adam Levine for that matter. If you haven't heard this before, I can guarantee you will listen to this on repeat, unless ofcourse if you have no clue about music whatsoever.

September 27, 2011

"Happy Birthday, B!", Toy For My Boy & Free Stuff

Yesterday, was B's birthday! I had planned a million things - but as they say 'Man Proposes and God Disposes.' But it was fun anyway! Happy Birthday, B!

Actually September has always been a flurry of birthdays for me...and a nightmare for my pocket money > summer job salary > salary account. Mom, dad, bro, Rock, Upasana/Roomie/Hater, Bestie (A), B...phew, you see what I mean? 

Also, the only thing that went according to plan was the gift. I decided that big boy needed a sophisticated toy. All of us got together to give him exactly what he wanted. The glee on his face when he opened the gift wrap on it - priceless!
Unwrapping In Progress!

Too Much Love For The PS3
However, the birthday ended with a dance on this song. I love how fancy B can be sometimes and how good he is with the jive.

Also, like a week back we got these really cool Camelbak sippers. B and I carried it out everywhere, no really, i mean everywhere! And we made promises like we will drink 2/3 litres of water everyday. It took him exactly 5 days to lose that bottle. Easy come, easy go.

September 19, 2011

How To Fall In Love (And Be A Woman)

Sometimes when you're in a relationship for a long time and everything's hunky dory you forget that when a relationship ends how earth shattering it can be for you or anyone else.

Until someone you care about gets thrown into the vicious whirlpool of breaking up and recovering and all your forgotten pain comes to the fore because you know how tough they're having it right now. I meant to write this a while back (but you know how I can procrastinate!) - So, M, Eno and U this is for you (whenever you think the world's crashing around you):

Being a tough independent fun woman is a full time job. You're doing your thing, keeping your life sane, paying your bills... you don't count on falling in love but you do and if you've had something going you take pride in how well you balance your life.

Share your life and living space with the one. Put all your energy in maintaining that perfect balance. Give up and make your relationship your priority.  Forget to set boundaries. Lose yourself.

You break up. Sometimes its you and sometimes it's the other person. But you always blame your self. Because that's what you do best. Cry. Make calls at 2 AM. Attempt to form sentences when nothing comes to mind. Attempt to understand the situation in vain. Hate yourself for being so pathetic. Hate yourself more for not stopping this behavior. Try to bring some semblance into your life.

Put your self back together. Go on a misson to discover yourself because you really don't remember what it is like to be just you, truly only you. Eat too much. Then eat too less to compensate. Almost dial his number every 5 mins. Write emails to him. Suggest you should be 'just friends.' Cry when he says its too early. Sigh, because you know he was right.

Try to get over him for once and for all. Realize, you may never be truly over him. Almost murder people who say 'Time heals all wounds.' Truly madly deeply hate the person who coined the phrase - whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

Look at the calendar and applaud yourself (mentally, of course) when you realize that it IS possible for you to not talk to him for 2 weeks straight. And you don't need Rehab after all. Throw yourself a party. Get pissed drunk. Drunk dial him. Hate yourself in the morning. Cry to make yourself feel better.

Start noticing men who are not good for you. Hell, who are probably not good for anyone at all. Like the attention all these men give you. Agree to coffee dates. Be flirtatious. Dial it up a notch when you realize they don't want anything from you. Cry when it's over. Except this time, these tears are not of acute sadness.

You've found yourself. You know who you are. The confidence, the independence and the fun that was the basic you is back. You no more walk into a room full of people and feel awkward because he isn't there to quickly come and hold you around the waist or land a peck on your cheek. Life's back on track

The point is - this will always be a wicked ride. You'll make a few mistakes in the path to recovery, however, these are not mistakes you'll ever repent because they helped you find YOU. And all the people who told you that time heals all wounds... were not on crack.

September 18, 2011

Curve Ball Or Dodge Ball

I'm tired of serious posts & I'm tired of Life playing the serious card right now. And like I promised myself way back - be it curve balls or dodge balls I'm going to keep it light. Because there isn't enough time to sit and repent and/or sulk.

So, a few days back when all my work related BS started, I let myself be bogged down. I'll be honest, I considering going on an evil manslaughter spree (with a borrowed .45) in the office and then finally jump from the 15th floor of the building. I'm not sure, if there is a terrace up there but I would've figured that out when I got there. But soon it dawned on me that all this is pointless. So I just proceeded to read this article on 'how to disagree with your boss.' And the only piece of useful advice the whole WikiHow article had was - Remember, ultimately they are the boss.

Then I realized that this shouldn't be a biggie for me. I'll figure things out, like always. And with B (he really does make a lot of sense most of the time) this should be easier. Figuring things out that is. And well, at least I haven't lost a limb or a loved one or I didn't fall of a building (though I did contemplate it) or I'm not ugly and I don't have body odor or ugly body rashes. 

And then A told me - Dude, who're you kidding?! Remember that dry spell that lasted 2 years? Remember the time when you didn't date for those 2 years? Or remember the time when you decided to go into a long distance relationship with an Arab guy you hardly knew?! Or the time you couldn't eat for 10 days because of your freakking wisdom tooth that never came out! Suck it up, P!

Ahhh, sometimes, all you need is some perspective. And yes, I've had bigger problems in life.

September 16, 2011

A Heart Without Words

"Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.~ MK Gandhi

Not much of a believer, but I do have faith. Faith in the strength that we all have inside to live through whatever life throws at us. After all Life doesn't throw at us things we cannot handle.

September 13, 2011

Hip To My Heart

I don't know anyone who will color one wall of his room purple just because I lurve purple.

I don't know anyone who will buy 4 seasons of Scrubs DVD, just so I could keep my mind off things, which otherwise would drive me insane.

You bring hip to my heart, B!

September 12, 2011

Good Monday, Nice Monday

For the first time in MY WHOLE LIFE...I won something. That too, on a Monday! Goog boy, monday :)

It's this really cool backpacking trip organizer team The Backpacker Co. It really is my dream job to be there, to conduct those tours. Blissful.
Anyway, they had this contest going on via Twitter () : 10 questions. First correct answers win a Backpacker T-shirt. Ofcourse I managed to answer correctly at least one question (those tweeples are too damn fast!)

This Monday wasn't too bad, I guess

Oh, and your music dose for today :) (Party Up)

September 8, 2011

ABCs Of My Life

Quote of the day:

I've heard her called a quitter for leaving, an aimless wanderer. But not all who wander are aimless
~Mona Lisa Smile


A is for amazing muscle memory - Even when I've changed my phone twice in the last 2 years and don't have someone's (who was important to me) number stored I can still dial that number. Again,  Amazing muscle memory.

B is for Brain - My Brain only lets me focus on one thing for say 10 mins. Max! In the middle of some important work it'll throw me off with something like "Do you know you haven't talked to your college room mate in almost Two years?! What do you think you should do?" That spells the end of a really productive morning. 

C is for cold - It could be bang in the middle of the summers. But if the AC is on I will still feel cold after 2 hours in the room.

D is for Delays - It's hard, like put-a-gun-to-my-head-and-I-won't-do-it hard, for me to wake up on time in the morning. For work. On the rare occasion that I do, the universe conspires to make sure I still reach work after 9:30. Today it was a flat tyre. 

E is for emoticons - I use emoticons atleast 15 times in a 5 min conversation. Not when I'm writing though.

F is for (bwahahahha) Fucker - favorite cuss word. Actually it's motherfucker - but M is too down in the alphabetic order.

G is for green tea - Green Tea sucks ass. I'm going to have it anyway. Somebody told me it's good for the waistline, dammit.

September 7, 2011

Wednesday Wonders : The Red Door!

So, I told you there was something interesting coming up for you guys!

I handpicked some of the most funniest, insightful, silly, ridic or even 'serious' blogs for ALL 55 OF YOU that visit me everyday (or so I like to believe) so that you can see, read and appreciate some bloggers that I really love and adore and genuinely enjoy. I asked them about their blogs and threw at them some random questions and rapidfire round as well. This was definitely the funnest part - getting to know them a little better. And the first one in this series is Sweta from The Red Door.

My Two Cents (Or more)

Well, she's a cutie. You'd read her blog and go 'aww' or 'yea! I know! that, exactly'- if you're from Calcutta. She believes 'Calcutta' is whole lot cooler name than 'Kolkata' and can hold her poison (I think it's vodka, she blogs a lot about vodka). And she can churn up a mean blog design, he stuff is whack, yo! Ok, nuff said, read up now.

Getting To Know Sweta

The Customary 'About You':

Hi I'm Sweta and I'm pretty much awesome.I have been blogging since 2008,but not on the same blog.I'm notorious for disappearing with trails.I'm from Calcutta(so much cooler than Kolkata) where the food and the auto rides are cheaper and better.I LOVE reading and that influenced my choice of grad subject-English lit.I pretty much change my blog couture once in-well,always.When it started to get annoying I decided to start a blog design business.My blog is mainly about writing(the kind people don't read.observation:I tend to get more comments when I only post pictures.I take it as a personal insult sometimes.Othertimes,nay.who cares?!I got comments!).I love making new friends(not particularly) and I would love it if you dropped by(particularly,yes).And I would like to thank Pooja for featuring me!She made me feel like a celebrity.In my book that calls for 5 martinis and limo ride.<3

Tell Me More, I Say!

1. Do you like cuddling? 
Of course!It's like nimbu pani to my vodka.

2. If you were a superhero, which one would you be?
One with the nice(and assuming natural boobs) Wonderwoman?No I'd rather be tintin.I'm saving the world and not getting spandex rashes.That's a win-win.

3. Favorite Cuss Word :
diddlyf*cksonofabitch.Yes I always use that.No abbreviations.

4. What do you think of supersonic jets?
I like them.

5. When was the last time you laughed so hard that you almost pee'd your pants, dammit!:
Every time.Every.Damn.Time.

6. What's your favorite excuse for anything at all?
I'm honest and kind of a bitch.So I say "I didn't do it cos I don't like it" I tried that with my father.I suggest you don't.

7. When was the last time you defied Death?!
Last week.I'm a klutz and I keep falling.On the road.From buses,autos,from my own feet.The last time was a banana peel.

8. Word(s) that make you squirm!:
Smooch.(Use: Omg you have a new boyfriend.Did you guys smooch?<--you'll get punched),hubby,superlike(this is like wildfire),snap(like photos),"Will you make frandship with me?"(who hasn't got this in orkut/fb?)

9. Best part of the day for you?
Late evening \m/ blogging,t.v shows,catching up.

Rapid Fire (Gotcha!)

dog or cat - dogs!What the diddlyfucksonofabitch use is a cat?
tea or coffee - lemon tea and black coffee.
cute guy or gay friend - I've had cute guys.I've never had a gay,the latter.
planes or trains - trains with clean bathrooms.
dawn or midnight - midnight for movies.Dawn for photography :)
online or offline - selectively online ;)
favorite song - It changes.But right now-I will Follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
favorite movie - Never let me go-a british drama based on the novel by Kazuo Ishiguro.
favorite book - The Kiterunner.First book that made me cry.
rock or pop - Rock.But pop is my guilty pleasure.ra-ra GagaGAAA.If I don't stop I'll be forced to Get another boyfriend.
music or sports - music.I was a fat kid who loved her cake and wouldn't get off her ass.
chocolate or vanilla - chocolate!dad alleges I would eat even mud because i like the colour brown.I assure you that's wrong. kinda.

Thankee Sweta! Now, all you lovely people, gooooo visit her HERE!

September 5, 2011

A Rant, A Love, A Movie ~ Times They Are A-Changin'

So, ok, I understand I'm a bawler, never too far away from shedding a tear or two but very few things actually make me question myself and keep me down for a prolonged time. It's one of those times. Something is going on (but, something is always going on with me) and I'm having quite a tough time dealing with it. And what's scarier is that bit by bit it's making a dent in my confidence. About time, I bounced back.


But it's difficult to be down and out when you've got someone like B.

'You're the craziest, smartest, funniest, most intelligent girl I have ever met in my life. And I really mean it, I'm not just saying.' And then goes ahead and watches Scrubs with me till 2 AM hoping it would cheer me up.
And, out of all the days, Eno (Heena) pings me on a Monday morning with that new Eminem song and does her virtual drool. And M tells me I shouldn't be shouting via my status message (somebody stole my headphones, yo) because whoever took my headphones will now be scared to return them to me. And then I sit back and start working, knowing no matter what happens there are some people who will always find me smart, funny, attractive (read: Mr. B) and some friends who will always drool over Channing Tatum and Eminen with me (Read: Eno) or one who will always play 'who's got the better smart-ass comment' with me (Read: M).


On Sunday evening, for the first time in a really long time I sat alone in a room watching Bridget Jones' Diary on TV. I haven't done that in a long time. In fact, I haven't done that since exactly last September (2010). It was deja vu and weird all in the same go. My single life was full of sunday nights watching some major chick flick. Bridget Jones featured quite a few times. I think I even have some of the dialogues memorized. And I knew where I would feel like crying. I knew which scene in the movie would make me bawl my eyes out. And still I'd cry when those scenes came. But yesterday was different. I mean I still felt the familiar surge of tears welling up inside me when Bridget ran out in the cold hardly wearing the appropriate clothes but somehow I wasn't trying to identify myself in her and I wasn't reaching for a box tissues neither was I curled up in my bed ready to sleep with the TV on, alone in my place. For starters, I didn't identify with her, at all. I didn't need those tissues because as soon as the tears slid down, B walked in, aghast, "It's a mooooovie!" And all I had to do was walk into the other room and see B sprawled all over the bed to know I'm not alone. Change is awesome. Change is good.

And times they are a-changing.

Paying It Forward

OK, so here's what's coming up for all you in the blog-universe.

So, I decided to feature a new blog every alternate week just to add some spice. And anyway I know such funny, witty, emotional and awesome bloggers that I feel the need to share the love.

Paying It Forward. Giving Back. We were taught this in our school. Basically, means the love you receive should always be forwarded (not like in an email, silly) and given back with the same intensity. That's what makes the world go round.

And, anyways, there is a funny joy you feel when your favorite bloggers post something that you can almost picture them in your head. So, I'm going to tell you about these amazing bloggers, a couple of posts of theirs that I adorrrrre and I have a questionnaire thrown in there as well, just so you can get to know them a little better. :-)

Just to warn you a lot of them are like me or my friends - so they are going to be stupid, funny, ridiculous, silly and awesome all at the same time.

September 4, 2011


Today is my first tattoo-versary!

Yay! One year since I got that awe-fucking-some tattoo. I remember the day as clear as yesterday - Eno & M were there backing me all the way. I thought I'll scream and faint and raise hell. Turns out, I didn't. The pain kinda numbed after the first 5 mins.

It's a guitar (that has the treble-clef note in it) and has one wing. People ask me why. I have a long monologue in my head. But the essence of it really is - Music sets you free, because!

Music Sets You Free

September 2, 2011

I'm A Spy Who Loves Books & Bitching

First things first: I finally got my Jack Kerouac book - On The Road! YAY! I think the angels did a little dance when they sensed my excitement :-)

For all you guys who don't know, this is the book after which my blog is named and the quote on the top of the blog is from this book. I still remember the winter afternoon when my friend in Bangalore pinged the link to that Jack Kerouac chapter that had that quote highlighted. And she said, this reminded her of me. I read the chapter and thought to myself that these are the kind of people I want to surround myself with and since I've been trying to find this book in every book store, new or secondhand without much luck.

Then I went to and lo and behold, I found it. And they delivered in ONE day. 24 HOURS! Yes, they are that awesome and I couldn't contain myself. Can't wait to start on it in the weekend. Oh, and I also got a Batman paperback for B and he was glowing the whole freaking day. Boys.

Also, I did mention that I'm a good spy and what a good spy absolutely loves is friends who spy with equal passion. We're the good spies, we just like to keep ourselves updated about the facts and not really interfere. Like God, only better. So when M gave loads of information on this particular girl none of us liked from college...we just gave in and bitched for a straight hour. who did what and went where. All harmless, honest.

Anyhoo, I have something really interesting coming up for all of you. Stay tuned.

August 26, 2011

Quote-Love #3 & A Writing Meme

Anything less than mad, extraordinary, passionate love is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with and love shouldn't be one of them.  ~ Frankie, Dream For An Insomniac

In other things, I decided to participate in a writing meme! Exciting, noh? It's a website call, which used to be called the The Red Dress Club. What was most intriguing was why they chose to call it the red dress club. And I thought, hell yeah, I'm in!

Tonight, we have been asked by the Write on Edge to write a story as a tweet. 140 characters. So, here we go. 

He saw her through his tears. Hazy. Choices had to be made. Love, the perfect impossibility. Then he walked away one last time.

August 23, 2011

Updating Life List - Puppy Love

I was making some changes to my blog. Editing the About Me page and updating the Life List page. I will take a moment here and for your benefit acknowledge my general obsession with Life Lists. Thank you.

Anyhoo, so I realized in the past say 5 or 6 months I've completed around 5 items in my life list. Not that bad, eh? (No idea why I'm going all Canadian here, just seems appropriate doesn't it?) However, there is particular thing on the Life List that is becoming a pressing need by the hour.

Let me just come to the point. I want a dog. A cute dog. Who cuddles, understands me, loves me, is not afraid of suffocating amounts of hugging and love, in general. Ofcourse, dogs like these exist and I want one of them. I'm having some major difficulty convincing B.

This has suddenly become top priority after the I saw the 'Jack Sparrow' dog in my neighborhood. There is dog who sleeps near our house and he has a black patch over one eye. Very pirate-ish and smart. I call him Jack Sparrow. And whenever, I do, he smiles. Honestly, I showed it to B as well and he went, 'No shit! he actually smiles.' I want a dog who'll smile back at me!

August 22, 2011

Meet The Parents - 2 & Music Monday #5

So, what I can say, it went well! B, didn't vomit all over himself from nervousness and Father wasn't asking any pressing life questions. We were all happy. The Dad test was over. With full marks to B. Ofcourse, I always had total confidence in his charming ways...

And the rest of the details are for me to know and you to dwell over.

OK, you're museeeek dose of the day:  It's Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah. Though the original was by Leonard Cohen and he is super freaking awesome while singing this, Jeff Buckley OWNS this song. Listen to him. A tinge of sadness to the track...but what is a Monday if not a little sad.

I could make love to this voice.

August 18, 2011

Meet The Parents - 1

So, mother called up last night to say Dad will be in town and he'd want to meet me. And B too! My heart was potentially where my stomach should be. I deliberated over it (even though there was no point in it) for 15 mins and called B to tell him. He seemed pretty much in control.

Until, of course when I met him in the morning. He was nervous. I was nervous. As a couple of people who have never done the 'meet the parents with serious intentions' regime before we tried to hide it from the other...not for long though. By mid-day my heart was where my guts should be and my guts felt weightless! Sitting here with the headphones on I can listen to my heart beat. Loudly. What's interesting is... Why the F do I have my headphones on if I'm not playing my music?! Nervousness can be brain damaging at times.

Though I think I have to take a moment here and say that the parents have been nothing but super {insert all kinds of good superlatives} about the whole thing. You'd think this would make it easier, but somehow it doesn't make the tiniest bit of difference. Hell no!

On top of all this, just make things a little easier on us V sent us this:


Funny article! Top takeaways:

Nothing says "I can't take care of your daughter" more than a limp-noodle handshake.
By the end of this (Q&A) session, you will most likely feel out of breath, beaten, and less of a man - however, if done correctly, it will soon be over with.
Turn around and flash her parents a smile while you close the door if you are feeling dangerous
drive at 15 miles an hour until u are out of their sight

Anyhoo, will tell you how it went. As of now, both of us are shitting bricks!

'CD Le Lete Hai Yaar' & Drama Mama

If you don't speak Hindi or Urdu that first part won't make much sense. It means, "Let's just buy a CD, man!'

This phrase was said around 30 times in the entire time we spent travelling for our Jaipur Weekend getaway. Other than the odd car-swimming-in excess-rain-water-scenario, the bad ass traffic situation while coming back, and our badly timed trip to Chokhi Dhani (a place that has the look and feel of a village but is a resort) I'd say the trip was exactly what I needed. Rest, Peace, Sleep, Pool and B (all to myself).

However it's strange how we react to unpleasant situations. We responded to the never ending mad traffic by singing songs whose original lyrics were replaced by expletives. It's quite fun destroying legendary songs. Especially when the only other option is to show your frustration in pretty violent ways. B made that game up. We just got addicted.

Also when we arrived in Chokhi Dhani we were prepared to surrender our city selves to the raw-ness of the rural. Turns out as soon as anything becomes too 'non-city' we recoil. But the place was really a nightmare. I mean take a stampede and dial it down a notch and that's what we got. We couldn't have got out of that place faster. These are 4 people that Chokhi Dhaani is never seeing again. As our wise friend P pointed out, it was more of a refugee camp than a luxury resort.

In other things, we are going to throw V a surprise party, for something that turned out really well for him. I am the main protagonist in the 'Act' that leads to the "Surprise!!" moment. I mean "I" know that I'm a major drama mama but all of my friends have started to increasingly have more faith in my drama skills. I don't know if should worry or be happy about this. Hopefully it's a good thing.

Ok, off to my Oscar moment now. V, brace yourself!!

August 17, 2011

Just Another Day At Work

Sometimes, work seems overwhelming so you write something like 'Fuck Everything' as your Facebook status. However, soon after FB makes your account 'Temporary Unavailable.' Then a friend pings you...

Yash: why is your fb profile unavailable?
Me: I dont know!!
i just tried to log in and its says
account temp unavailable
Yash: you just tried to fuck everything that was not required
that was not to be fucked around with
Yash: seriously
I can't comment
Me:seriously i can't see my profile

But seriously, it was one of the most educative random GTalk chats I've ever had:

Did you know in Hyderabad there is a flyover called 'Telugu Talli'?
Talli in Hindi is slang for getting drunk. So there is actually a flyover celebrating drunkenness? Not quite. Talli in Telugu means Mother. Next Mothers' Day I'm going to send a card to my Mom saying 'Happy Talli Day.' Just for kicks.

Murphy's Law Of Typos: If you've made a hilarious typo while you're chatting, you will continue make that typo unless you end the chat or switch topics.

Yash: BTW why are you Idli?
oh, I mean, idle
Me: I have no idea!
Yash: It's weird
You and me chatting with you Idli.
Damn! Idle.
Me: Obviously, you like Idli
Yash: No! I hate Idlis!

FYI - Idli's are a type of South Indian dish that you get...well, everywhere.

August 13, 2011

Everybody Loves Pop!

Pop really is the answer to a LOT of life's problems and most of your break ups. I'm sick of people saying how they don't like Pop. Including Mr. B groaning when I sing along to Justin Bieber's baby voice on the radio. What he does not realize is that I may be singing loudly but not that loudly that I can't hear him sneak in a hum or two of the few lines in between.

Moreover, for the last 3 weeks he's been borrowing my Droid every morning in the office cab to listen to songs. Ok, I might add here that I'm a HUGE Nirvana fan and I love my rock. Pop just happens to be my guilty pleasure that I have no qualms in admitting ...anymore. So anyway apart from the Nirvana, Coldplay, Beatles and the likes it has a good mix of Ke$ha, Gaga, Bieber, MJ and more. The BF between his rock songs sneaks a little MJ and Ke$ha as well.

That's all I need to be convinced of the power of Pop music I guess. It's just so mindless at times and sometimes it is exactly what you need. And boy bands...If ANYBODY tells me that these weren't a major part of your growing up, I'd tell you that maybe you lived in Mars. When asked B 'Who was your favorite boy band, baby?' 'Backstreet Boys' Pat came the reply. He didn't even fight it knowing I would beat it out of him eventually. I'm good with the drama.

So you see, everybody loves pop. Honest!

August 12, 2011

Perfectly Bad At It!

Ok now I know I'm nothing short of a good cross between a superhuman and a ninja. Whaaaat?! Ofcourse I'm not making this up, I gave you a HINT earlier remember? Fine, I'll make you believe me, don't say I didn't warn you -

  1. I can make up excuses like nobody's business. Like if you asked me a question and if I didn't know the answer and I know that I probably SHOULD know the answer I'll make it up! And you wouldn't doubt me for a second. Megha actually comes to me when she needs to be a little creative about making up excuses for various reasons that cannot be acknowledged here.
  2. I have to hear your number 3 times, exactly, 3 times to remember it as long as I'm friends with you. Yea, you heard that right. As long as I'm friends with you.
  3. Give me any life situation and I have an equivalent F.R.I.E.N.D.S. video for it. Kid you not. Also the ability to watch 150th rerun of any friends episode.
  4. I spy, therefore, I am - Ok, fine! Maybe this is something most woman are born with, oh, but I'm goood. You have no idea.
  5. Ability to fake the knowledge of stuff that's happened to you so you confide. If, ofcourse, it's good enough to arouse my curiosity.
  6. Can watch 3 seasons of america's next top model in a day. Livin' for the drama, people!
  7. Sleazy jokes, funny jokes, cool jokes, intelligent jokes - you name it and I can crack it!
But all that superhero power, charisma, magnetism falls flat on its face when it comes to a few things. I mean, I never thought I'd have a Nemesis, but turns out, I do! Not 1 but 3.

Car Doors:

I cannot, simply cannot for the life of me close a car door in one go. I always try and slam it and the slam becomes something between a push and a touch and the door doesn't close properly or so the car light inside tells me. B, on the other hand finds this quite amusing. Sometimes, the amusement borders on exasperation and he'll do that laugh of his "ha, ha, he,hmmm" and I can almost see his eyes scream murder.
I can't help it! It's just something that I cannot dooo! It just doesn't happen. Maybe I was a blue blood in my former life who always had at-least 5 people running around closing doors and shit.


I'm cool, calm, composed...except when I see a lizard. I hate those slimy reptiles. They give me the goosies, the shivers and my general well being gets affected. Once we were eating lunch and B's mom saw something move behind me and she said, "Is that a lizard?!"

Beeeeeeeeep! Wrong word!

I screamed and shouted at the top of my lungs and ran to the other, threw the plate of food I was carrying, and jumped and shouted and stripped my t-shirt off until B came and told me, "WTF! there's no lizard!" Much to the amusement of all the workers in the house. So see, there you go, I can't handle lizards and you would've thought nothing could get to me.

Genuine Compliment:

I can't handle a genuine compliment. I blush, twitch, try to act coy, try to smile, try to say something appropriate but I never know what the right/exact response should be. Then I just end up cracking some lame joke and making the situation awkward. This really is the biggest of 'em all. A downer if you're single and willing to mingle. Cos you see I can win you over with my humor and smartass cracks and knowledge of current world events and show you that I have an opinion and a very strong one at that. I have to admit you will be bowled over (if you're interested in women). And you will only keep liking me at a exponentially progressive level....unless ofcourse you pay me a genuine compliment.

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