January 18, 2011

What's My Sun-Sign Again?!

Work is Bleh. My future is hanging by a thread. And the only thing that I was depending on for consistency was the Daily Horoscope. And now, some RANDOM ASS ASTROLOGICAL DIE HARDS go ahead introduce a 13th Sun Sign into the equation?! Just like that!

I mean ALL my life I've been a Taurean. I LOVE being a Taurean. And I swear to God (though I don't believe in Him) I have those traits, I do I do! And suddenly you tell me, 'Dude, you're Aries from today' and you expect me to just become like an Aries. How how how? That's a lot of pressure, ya know?

You know what? You guys want a 13th Sun sign then you come up with a freaking new month as well. You can't just shift us around to fit your newly 'found' constellation. This isn't exactly like getting a seat in your local train. Whoever you Astrological Die Hards are let me tell you - this is like a BREAK UP! We are HUMANS, we have feelings. Maybe all of those feelings aren't strong as mine. But they are still FEELINGS, dammit.

Ophiuchus. What kind of a name is that?
Dear Ophiuchus, get a new month for yourself. Oh, you want a suggestion? I don't know. How about FUCKYOU-ARY? sounds good to me!

And, what are the Psychics, Horoscope readers, Fortune Tellers to do now? I mean this is a whole new business challenge for them isn't it? I'm sure they have their own set of challenges to deal with. Now they have to change their game, their Modus Operandi. Damn, guys I feel ya. And what about those 'Ophiuchusans' (? - I don't know what they're going to be called, taking a wild guess here) they don't even know what they are like, who they are compatible with, who they can be friends with, and who they are going to marry. HOW WILL YOU LIVE WITH THAT?! I at least have Linda Goodman's book on the other 12 sun signs to fall back on. OMG, now Linda Goodman has to introduce a whole new chapter on her already fat ass book! I'm telling you...This keeps getting  ridiculous by the freaking minute!

Dear Taurus,
You are my one and only true love. I will never leave or disregard you. You and me, together, forever.
Hugs and kisses,


subtle expressions said...

Ha ha ha ha, Business challenge or opportunity to be capitalized on :P
Im sure now there are more than '1' reasons to earn moolah for the sooth sayers...

upasana said...

I feel bad for Ophiuchuseans!!Atleast you went from Taurus to Aries, think of the guys who went from Aries to Ophiu-wateverthatis!

PG said...

@Megha: Well, somebody should be able to capitlize on it!

@Upasana: Yea, OphiuchusEAN makes more sense than PhiuchusAN. And I know...what are they to do now!

PG said...


Jet-Setting Divas said...

Lol all my life I've been a Gemini (I love my sign!!) And now I'm a taurus?!!! I mean I know nothing of it..and I'm not claiming it! I feel like I'm going to claim the sign I was born under...to hell with that new b.s.

Anonymous said...

Whoa! You took this personal I see:)LOL.. Well, well. I really don't know what to say. I think a lot of people are feeling like "wtf"...And I love the angle of that you took of the fortunate tellers, they are going to have to switch up their game plan! LOL

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