Life

A month, thousands of tweets, hundreds of posts, a few articles and numerous memories later - we miss you. As much as that first day. As much as we ever had.

Now as some time has passed us by I know a few things for sure. There are 2 people who will never really move on from you. There are a few who will care as much as they cared before - zilch. There is that one whom I will never forgive. Because when you share houses, you share lives as well. When you can't be strong enough to be around during the worst times, you don't mean much anyways. There are a handful who will keep restoring your faith in love, life & friends.

Amongst other things, I am coming back from a weekend trip to my hometown right now. I like how life comes to full stop at home. I'm addicted to that feeling. Therefore it's obvious that I feel an overwhelming surge of sadness when I leave. I want to spend more time with my folks, talk to them a lot more, listen to them, be with them. I hate how parents have stopped being a part of my everyday life. We need to be more available to each other!

There must be a way to be at 3 places at the same time. With Mr B, with the folks & at Vegas ...preferably in a casino... winning money.

Pro-Adele, Oh Whitney & Love Games

Tell me you watched the Grammys and was almost as excited as Adele at the way she OWNED the Grammys. I’m mighty glad that the Gagas and Biebers did not take over. On second thoughts, they couldn’t have. Adele’s so “real” it’s hard not to connect with her. Her non-lip synching & non-auto tuned flawless voice is her biggest asset. Apart from the fact that she actually sends out the message that you don’t need to conform and be anorexic, skimpily clad to out-shine everybody in show-business. While the industry buzzed with how REAL music won that night… they also mourned the legend that was Whitney.

The reason I loved, loved, loved Whitney was that…one of my first memories that involve music was this cassette Mum had. Album name: Whitney Houston. So like most people I know, “I will always love you” was not the only Whitney song I heard, though I did love it to bits. The Whitney love never went away. The day I discovered “I will always love you” was the day my dad almost contemplated giving me up. I would sing it everywhere – home, bathroom, classroom, lunch break,  playground – think it & that place would have heard me sing. Aloud. Finally a month or so later my older cousin had to sit me down and say “I hate to break this to you but you’re NOT Whitney Houston!” So I stopped singing. Aloud. But inside my head? I was singing in front of a packed audience. Everywhere.

I hate what she got reduced to. The drug abuse, the erratic public appearances, the cancelled shows and everything she was not. I’m sure, now, she’s back to being the Gospel singer’s daughter who had a voice that could only be God’s special blessing.

In other things, Today is Valentine’s Day. (Guffaw).

Yes, I hate “celebrating” any part of it. I wouldn’t for the life of me, buy you a gift and take you out on dinner. Last time this year, I remember we were crazy broke. So I just took a printer paper and wrote “happy valentine’s day” and made some nonsensical drawing. B did the same. We were happy, content. Not because we didn’t expect a big surprise or something extravagant. But mainly because we did expect anything at all. Luckily for both of us, we loathed the idea of “celebrating” this day equally. Well, maybe B’s loathing is a degree or two more.

However, I find it very hard to be cynical towards this day. I mean how can you be disgusted with so much love all around -  couple coo-ing at each other, candle light dinners, walking with that silly smile. C’mon it’s nice in a weird way. And let’s admit it. We are a busy breed and maybe having one day to remind yourself to be nice…why not? To each his own, right? So what I’m saying is you will never find a post on how commercialism is ruling our lives through valentine’s day or how corporates are making money off common people just because of this day on this blog. Ever. Because, frankly, there are bigger problems than shooing kids off the streets or banning Hallmark cards.

The A Word

 

 

Abuse. The dictionary has a very simple meaning for this word. Misuse. Maltreatment.

Unfortunately it does not even begin to cover the complexity of the reality of abuse. The multiple ugly layers that it has. Take this from someone who's been there, done that. So when things turned ugly between a friend and the supposedly better half, I saw red. No matter how bad things are, how ugly the things you say to each other are, a guy/girl absolutely cannot in any extent of the imagination think that hitting the other is a possibility.

But does that really eradicate Abuse? The very nature of something like this is it works in many, discreet ways. It need not always be physical. A lot of times it's emotional and mental. Afraid to talk about that co-worker who is funny that you share a completely platonic relationship with? Or about the good things that are happening at work? Just because it might make him mad? If that's a yes...it's abuse. Most women go through life unable to even recognize those tell-tale signs of abuse. These signs may not be in-your-face but it will surely and steadily eat you up and make you a different person. I'm trying to not be too dramatic...but one day you are going to wake up and not recognize the person you have become. Also, just because I'm talking from a woman's perspective does not mean it doesn't happen the other way around. It does.

I think the saddest the thing is, abusive relationships are also addictive. You are addicted to the authority the other person brings in your life. The confidence, self - importance that compensates for your own lack of it. Because admit it if all the above were there...you would have called it quits as soon as it started. This may not be helping anybody at all as I write it...but please, please get out of it as soon as someone hits you. That's a line you don't want to cross.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know it's hard. Easier said than done. Because when you discover the full extent of how loveless this whole fiasco is (does not matter how many times he cries and says he won't do it again) it's going to tear at the very core of your being. You'll need a heart of steel, agreed. But do it, because you owe it to yourself, to the parents who raised you like you were the only thing that meant anything to them, do it for the friends who love you unconditionally, to the perfect guy in future who is going to treat you like a princess.

Forever And A Day

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."”