April 17, 2012

Not This Me

You know, when you see some of those classic new age chick flicks and they show those busy men talking into 3 phones at the same time? No time for play, no time for friends & let alone a girlfriend. They don't return calls from family and don't know the names of the people reporting to him. The secretary does all the work, sends flowers, collects laundry et al.

Well, for starters I don't have a secretary. But I'm afraid I'm becoming that person. The one who doesn't remember birthdays or send flowers or forgets to return calls. In my defense though, I haven't forgotten a birthday and I was always bad with phone calls. But I feel like I have such less time for people. I'm on the phone almost always and when I'm not on the phone I'm on the laptop sending some damned report. Weekends, I'm too tired.

Okay, this was not the plan. That is not the person I want to become. The kind who is going through life in a hurry and everything else is a haze. Where I have no time for the people who matter or where I snap when I'm too stressed. Nope. Not becoming that.

But then my friend got admitted in the hospital because of his appendix. You'd think an organ which is of no use in your body would sit quietly without making much fuss. But no. I mean imagine the audacity of that stupid vestigial organ making life hell for you. So much so that you'll end up needing an emergency procedure. I was there at the hospital that evening.

And then M went through a rough patch with the boyfee. Her text on a Friday mroning totally shook most of us. I called her some...I don't know...bazillion times.

Last night as I lay down desperately hoping I haven't missed My Kitchen Rules episode. I thought maybe I haven't crossed over to No-Friend-No-Love-No-Love-Only-Work side of life yet. I make time when I have to. I just have buck up and do it more often. And take work a little less seriously. Leave the stress at the workplace.

I want to be my mom who would come from work and experiment with a dish that all of us swore we would never eat again or wake up in the morning and make sure she sits outside with her tea for atleast 10 mins. I want to be my dad who always had just enough ebergy left to get stuff for my art project or take me out to have my favorite ice-cream. 

There was always enough energy, enough love, enough heart.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THIS POST! This is exactly how I've been feeling. Sometimes I feel that I should say No more often, if only to get a little time for myself.

And I did get a gazillion calls. Trust me, Im super guilty! At first it was just that I was trying to sort stuff out in my head before speaking to you and Uroy. By the time I was done, it was Monday, nuff said :D haha! I am forever planning that one huge super-awesome phone call..

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