March 25, 2011

Cricket Ain't For The Faint-Hearted

Unless you have been living under a ROCK the past month you'd know how the Cricket infested countries are going crazy, berserk and simply nuts with each passing day. In India, though, crazy means a whole new ball game. Actually, let me rephrase that....Cricket means a whole new ball game. Apart from the fact that each and every person considers Cricket their lifeblood, every time a boy is born in any Indian family the first thought that is probably running through the minds of his brand new parents is 'Will he be the next Sachin Tendulkar?'  - Deviation: If you don't know who Sachin is then, PLEASE GET OFF MY BLOG...NOW! - This lasts till the time the little boy can walk or play and speak his mind. Then they realize that, well, he may not be the next Sachin but he WILL acquire so much knowledge about Cricket itself that he would give the veterans a run for their money or simply drive his friends out of their minds by expressing his opinion on every shot that is taken and ever ball that is delivered. And on the most important moments of his life will quote some scene from the Cricketing history of the World.

For the uninitiated who STILL don't get it: India is to Cricket, what Brazil is to Football. Being a boy in India is no mean job. Apart from the tough job of growing up and studying and making something out of yourself so that your Parents can boast of you in their society parties and, of course, earning to support a family of 10 at any given point (what can I say, we love joint families) that boy who I might add is already crumbling under societal pressure also has to be Cricket fanatic. No choice given whatsoever! Being a fanatic isn't enough, he should also have super-powerful, photographic memory that would allow him to not only remember which countries were pitted against each other in which world cup match but also CLEARLY remember which batsmen played which shot and which bowler took which wicket. And when it comes to Sachin, if you don't have his entire career at your fingertips, sorry, you will not be considered man enough. You could have balls the size of Himalayas (frankly, just writing that is grossing me out) and you could be knowing where them hoes at but... IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER! Phew, honestly, that's a lot of stats and I'm sure such memory is available only in some super-computer that is yet to be invented by Google, Apple or Microsoft. And you wonder why all these Indian are topping the GMATs and SATs?

And to be fair to the girls, they struggle a lot too in this power play. With all this new equality in gender thing happening across the world and ofcourse India they need to have some opinions on what is happening in each match. Who played well, who bowled well and who simply fucked up. Of course, our cricket-crazed nation is a little easy on the dainty darlings. The girls (including me) are not expected to have super-computer memory and will be excused if they have a healthy respect for the Cricket playing countries and their players and a healthy hatred for Australia and Pakistan.

Coming to the topic of being pitched against our arch-rivals - Pakistan and Australia. Unless you are in either of the aforementioned countries it is difficult for you to understand the kind of drama an India-Pak or India-Aus match brings to the people. Life literally stops. People everywhere are huddled around televisions soaking in each and every nail biting moment. Hurling VERY PERSONAL insults at the opposition (not that they can hear them) and shouting words of encouragement to the India team. Every now and then someone is giving the team some footwork or bowling advice (again, I should make it clear that none of the people who the advice is intended for can hear them). Shouting in glee when the team does well and screaming in agony when someone fails to deliver. Heart attacks at crucial overs in a match are not uncommon. Last few moments of the match everyone is quietly anticipating the victory that is to come. And if, IF - dear good God, holy smokes noooo - India loses... well all you can hope for is that your Televisions set is unbreakable.

Like I said, a whole different ball game :)

UPDATE: Upasana pointed out that it would be a good idea to show how our Facebook Home Page feed looked like after the match, so here goes. I ain't making this shit up.


upasana said...

Remember, I'm getting goosebumps everytime some one says Pakistan!! Shudder :P
But you have done justice with all our feelings in this post! :D

P.S. While writing this comment - two cricket fanatics behind my desk are also talking about you know what!!

Nas said...

I'm Pakistani ;).
But my fanatism for cricket died at the age of 15. But my mum 8-). Gosh. When Pakistan beat Australia, she made SOOOOOOOO much noise.

I might just watch on Wednesday. Maybe :P

May the Green errrm...I mean may the best team win :D.

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