November 3, 2011

I Hate This Part Right Here

The last few days have been a roller coaster ride. No not the 3 days for drinking out my wits part. But the emotional part.

I'm sitting in this room, tea in hand, remembering how much that Costa Coffee in office I miss I can't help but tear up a little bit. No. I'm not in love with that coffee. It just reminds me of everything and everyone I love and adore in the Big G. Reminds me of the routine that has been a part of me for the last 4 odd years, defined me even. Well, I always knew that leaving Big G would be the toughest thing I've ever had to do.

Going through the customary 'exit' motions of the day I made it a point to not think about it. Now was not the time. After realizing that all formalities could not be completed today I started to relax and by that I mean I stopped running around/pushing people away from me like a seasoned rugby player. Then I set out to send out my goodbye email...and that's when it struck me. Deep Breath. I needed to thank these people who have been everything I wanted and could have asked for :

The first friends I ever made. Thank you for making those first days a lot more bearable and less scary.
The friends who grew on me over time. Thank you for making me realize that first impressions are not always right.
The husband and wife who were more than happy to make their home my weekend retreat.
To the friends who couldn't be more unlike each other. Thank you for re-instating that opposites do attract.
The girls who were ready to forgive, forget (& beyond) every mistake I ever made and in fact cover for it too.
For the guys whom I probably owe in crores. Thank you for all the ciggies you let me bum off you.
For the boys and girls who were friends, family and philosophers & more.
And of course the better half.

I made a conscious effort to not think too much about it while I was leaving, going through all the 'lasts'. The last time I swiped my badge, the last lunch, the last every-damn-thing. I didn't want to bawl my eyes out and scare the living daylights out of everyone around me. So I just concentrated on the good part - I'll meet all of them 2 days later, I can come here anytime I want, I can sell my stocks anytime I want. What almost undid me were the sad, trying-to-control-the-tears look on M's and URoy's faces. And the replies from friends far away. I still haven't replied back...I will when I can get myself to do it.

So, while I don't know what to do without you guys I'm sure things will fall into place eventually. Like someone said, "Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together." I'm banking on whoever said this.

But this part right here, where I'm twirling my cup of tea & trying hard to reason with myself, I hate it. I hate this part right here.

1 comment:

Shady said...

Don't twirl the tea for too long .. You make awesome tea .. Drink it before it gets cold!

Ok .. I agree .. I'm Lame! Just felt like saying something!
We miss you too ... a lot!

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