April 5, 2011

Shenanigans & Wishin' & Hopin' & Prayin'

I'm usually a very secure person. I know the things I feel, I believe in the friendships I have forged over the years and I know who to fall back on. Except...it's not so simple when it comes to falling in love and then being in love. The shenanigans of my past won't let me rest in peace. In the dead of the night sometimes I'd wake up and think if this what you really want?

Then you turn to my side and weight of your arm is on my stomach, the anxiety disappears. Then it gets me thinking...

You know when I'm anxious. You know when I need a smile.
And you know if I need to hold your hand or when I need some random attention.
When I'm restless, you'll know.
And when I'm down and out you know exactly what to say.
I like the way we fit perfectly and the way your palm engulfs my hand.
The protective hand over the small of my back.
The way you stare when I'm sleeping.
The way you pretend you weren't staring when I catch you at it!
The downward droop of your mouth when I'm sad and they way you always come back after a fight.
The way you say 'You're so beautiful' and actually mean it, even on my worst days.
The way you share your precious PVR popcorn tub with me. Only.

If this isn't love, I don't know what is. Fuck em Shenanigans!

In other things, today is a day when I'm wishing and hoping and praying for the best for a couple of people I have come love and adore more than I imagined I would. I know things will be fine, I know we'll survive this. Please let this just be a false alarm. Amen.

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