April 14, 2011

Monologue #3 (Theme: Random)

So I'm in this super random mood where everything random keeps coming to my mind and here's what's been making me laugh out of the blue and making people think I'm a certified nutcase.

1. Smoking [Insert Cigaretter Brand] Slims is like having sex with a guy who has a really thin you-know-what. I mean it's just not the right size and not a right fit in your hands. At the risk of sounding a wee bit gross...it's just not THICK enough. Know what I mean?

2. A month or so back I walked into the S. Oliver store in one of the malls. It has some really good stuff except it's ridiculously expensive! But the sales person there was super helpful and nice. I came across this loose bell bottomed khaki pants that I LOVVVEEEDD (get the idea). So much so that I pictured myself wearing them and looking super fancy and shit. Only to have the sales person tell me, 'Ma'am, this won't look good on you, you need an *apple-shaped* body for that.' Whaaaaaat? APPLE SHAPED BODY?! who the fuck has an apple shaped body. Does it even exist? Mrin thinks he meant "pear-shaped" but that doesn't sound good either, ya know? Fruits compared to body shapes, not happening ya'll!

3. Today at lunch Mrin and I were talking about how there's is no way we can loose enough weight to look good on the beach for my much awaited Mumbai trip (Some of my fav girlfriends together along with Mr. B = crazy time alert!). And suddenly, without any intimation Mr. B says 2 words that is bound rattle my existence! "Free Willy." He says. Free Willy? FREE WILLY? Really? When I talk of wearing bathing suits and shit he thinks of a Killer Whale? I mean why would you think of any kind of whale when I talk of wearing bathing suits? I reming you of a WHALE? Nooooo.
GYM. TODAY. For Sure.


Wicked Chef # 1 - Linds said...

Thank you for stopping by! I can't wait to see what else you have to write.


Mommy said...

Thank you for swinging by 2 Against 1 be sure to link up to the TGIF blog hop (Friday).

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