Find of the Year!

As I was sifting through the entire internet (which I'm thinking I should turn into a career soon) I found a website which is probably going to become my favorite website of all time.

It's called Gizoogle.net. What does it do, you ask? Well it turns all search results and entire websites into Gangsta lingo. For real! So I went crazy over it and told every freaking person around me how cool, it was and shit. Just see what it does, I put an old post of mine and it translated it in gangsta language and I've been laughing like an hyena every time I read it...

You have seriously got to check it out (I swear I'm not being payed by them)!

No Country For Women & No Year For Analysis

So it’s time to wrap up the year. Christmas is over…New Year is looming over our heads. It’s been while since I’ve even seen my freaking blog, thanks to inhumane amounts of work that was lined up. But during the time I did not write all hell broke loose around me…us. A Khap leader went on to say that Fast food and Chinese food are the reasons that rape happens in our country, but that’s not all, he said this on national television. A fundamentalist leader who’s means and intentions have always been questionable passed away, and so many were affected like you wouldn’t believe. Couple of girls got arrested for just Facebooking about how his death should not be affecting a city like Mumbai or some such thing. A pre-med student got beaten to pulp and gang-raped in the Capital. In the middle of all the ruckus and protests for a better life for women in this country my problems seemed too vain and too trivial to start on.

But I have to. At some point you know. With time speeding towards my wedding I’m edging more towards the bridezilla zone. I’m nervous and I feel like nothing is getting done. The thing about weddings is what you happens and what you dream of might be VASTLY different. What’s common is in both scenarios it’ll end up being perfect. So that’s what I’m hoping for. I mean right off the top of my head I can atleast name 50 different things that need being done and my problem is I just cannot for the love of God delegate. I need to be involved in every minute detail.

Décor? What color? Food? How many courses? Is there going to be enough fish? Guests? Where will they stay and how? Wedding favors?

I mean I can easily delegate these to SuperMom and SuperDad and they’ll take care of it. But I just can’t. And I haven’t found the perfect dress for the wedding reception and I’m losing sleep and hair over how I’ll never find it. I expected weddings to be less stressful. God knows why.

And I haven’t been able to shed even an ounce of weight which is basically causing a lot of stress. So as you can imagine much to my chagrin I discovered that stress actually causes excess abdominal fat. So now not only do I need to obsessively be involved in all the planning but do it with genuine happiness.

All in all I’m just happy that this year is over. It was such a cocktail of good, bad and ugly life events that I don’t have the energy to actually analyze. I’m just gonna let it be.

This country is no country for women and this year is no year for analysis.

The Best & The Worst

I had a weird week. The best and worst.

I had the best time because Boy is back. Also, last weekend I spent playing "Colorman, Colorman" with 4 grown-ass people in their late 20s. Wait...what? You don't know the game? It's where one person has their back towards everybody else and others shout "Colorman, Colorman, what color do you choose?". Now, colorman chooses a color, turns and starts running towards the others. If he catches you before you touch anything of the same mentioned color you become the colorman. It's fun but also potentially life threatening when you are playing it with 180 pound 6 feet guy.

I discovered I shriek. A lot. Exactly what I did when I was way younger. Somethings really don't change. Uroy is mostly in denial, will hold on to a blue curtain and say "It's green!". Aruni is mostly letting us be crazy and tripping on air like her usual self. P... *insert side splitting laughter* thinks we are conning him because he knows only 10 colors.

Also, I got my nose pierced. A finally got me to do it. Though I threatened to kill her if anything went wrong. She was unfazed. And the good thing is that I have an amazingly high threshold for pain. And I kind of like it now that it's done.

The worst because URoy is leaving. She is the most unsocial, lazy, whiny, paranoid at time, sarcastic, mean girl I have ever met and she is my friend because of those very reasons. I love her and I hate goodbyes. Everything said and done no matter how much she changes, how many kids she has, how many times she gets married - she will always be the girl I can kick back with with a pint of beer and talk about things I probably wouldn't talk about with most people. I've always hated goodbyes and as I grow older I hate it more. Especially when it's saying goodbye to people you consider family. And P is going too...ofcourse, those stupid love birds. And you can't help but not miss that gentle giant of a guy. Here's to amazing beginnings!

The Point.

I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for.

This is all I have been thinking about in an all consuming kind of way. I don't want to sit around work in an MNC and worry about carpal injuries from incessant typing and deteriorating eye sight from looking at my laptop 10 hours a day. Maybe I'm just tired of the routine, the monotony or casual listless-ness that life has seemingly taken on, maybe it's just a phase or maybe I'm serious.

The great thing about being in your 20s is that you don't know. You can't figure it out. All you have is this stupid careless heart which will bully your brain into realizing what you want or don't want. Why can't the heart leave the brain alone?

What is it that I want? I want to volunteer, I want to teach, I want to travel, tell people what a wonderful gift travelling is, teach people to apply themselves, help them figure out who they are, tell them it's okay to be a misfit, tell kids that education is important, show them what they can do, that they have a choice, everybody has a choice. So why do I feel like I don't have a choice?

I want to learn. Learn about things I don't know. Keep an open mind and an open heart. I want to sit down and solve math problems because 10 years down the line I find solving them much easier than answering questions like "What to wear to work today?" or "Why is this happening to me?".

I want to see. See new cultures, new horizons, new places, new people. I want to hear. Hear about these new people, hear their opinions, hear their views. I want to believe. Believe that all of this will change me for the better, believe that I can do almost anything that I set my mind to.

So what are you saying, you ask. I'll say, I'm at that Point. What point? THE point. The point in life when you realize that everything you've worked towards is not what you wanted or even care for at this moment. The point when you need to re-evaluate everything you've done. Redo everything you've spent your entire 20s working on and building. The point where in some weird way it all starts to make sense and make no sense all at the same time.

A Bottle Or Three

Considering the last few days were all about the hospitals and running around and medicines for A, it was obviously time for a cheer-up-brunch for her. Now that I'm getting older I absolutely love day time drinking. Especially on a Sunday.

Problem is A doesn't know how to do normal drinking or tone anything down. So by the time I was there a bottle of wine was ordered and rearing to go. 3 hours down we'd finished off 3 bottles of wine and saying things none of us even attempted to understand and asking for the 'best House wine' and having the waiters tell us 'Ma'am we have only ONE House wine'. And since we were not done and were not sure if we could finish a bottle we started ordering by the glass. Turns out we might as well have ordered a bottle and some more.

After ridiculous conversation and enough amount of drunk dialing B we got literally hit by this idea which was beyond awesome. Thing is, drunk people get ideas. And they are adamant about them. Mainly because they think it's the best thing they have ever thought of. A and her friend thought it would be freaking awesome to finally get my nose pierced. And, man, were we a group of determined girls. We visited 5 jewelry shops none of which helped.  At 9 in the night we reached a popular hospital's emergency ward and I said "I'm getting married tomorrow. I need my nose pierced. Otherwise I won't be able to get married. It's an emergency. Kind Of."

So confused was the attending doctor that she called up the ENT specialist to find if they even did something like that. turns out they do. But not at 9PM on a Sunday. I'm still not sure why didn't

think of going to Tattoo/Piercing places?!

I guess ideas that come after 3 bottles of wine don't always have the best execution plans.

You'd think the story is over. But you haven't met a more determined person than A. So she's still trying to drag my ass to this piercing place and get it done. Maybe she's still drunk. We did have a lot to drink on Sunday.

It's Manic, This Addiction.

Masterchef Finals Week - you are killing me!

Long Distance Birthday & Being Alone...

... are both things that I apparently suck at. 

There's something very not fun about it being your boyfriend's birthday when he's not in the country. But there is something extremely exciting about knowing that he's living his dream! That’s how I’m spending this September 26, the day the boyfee was born.

Speaking of birthdays, first time since I left home, which is more than 8 years, I was at home for Dad’s birthday. This kind of turned out well because we got to shop along with Dad and eat beautiful Bengali food. However, this is the year where vacations to go home is nothing like, well…vacations. This is the year when I spend ridiculous amounts on things I usually wouldn’t invest in and not to mention the liberal dose of how-to-save-money conversations with the folks.

So with B living it up in the states and my mini-home-vacation over I have the house all to myself. Which, funnily enough, I don’t like much. I used to live by myself for almost 4 straight years. 2 years I stayed with this girl who used to pull night shifts and we’d only meet on Sundays – which obviously doesn’t count as staying with a person. It’s like meeting the woman in the local salon every 2 weeks. Anyhow, I used to love living alone with a vengeance. With all the things that I could possibly need on one side of my double bed and me on the other. Amazing stuff, that! And I remember the apprehension within me when I finally made the decision to properly move in with Uroy and then B. I thought it was the end of an era, which it kind of was.

Now with the entire house to myself I can’t get myself to do it. To stay alone. So I’m running to URoy’s place. Not that it’s any better because the bitch and a half made me watch Paranormal Activity 3 till 1:30 in the morning and then to “erase the bad memory” as P puts it we talked about past life regression analysis and how trauma of a previous life continue into other lives and recurring nightmares and what they could mean. And because talking about nightmares and past life regression never helped anybody sleep well I’m trying not fall asleep on my keyboard by writing this post.

Love-Hate

Sometimes I'm not sure if I should be grateful for the technology.

Doppelgangers

Well eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers. These completely different people who just happen to look like us. Five years ago? That girl was pretty great. But doppelganger Robin? She's amazing. - Ted Mosby, HIMYM

If you were me September would be a ka-razy month for you. In a good way. Almost 50% of the people in my life who are important have their birthdays on September. Mom, Dad, Mr. B, Mr B's dad, BFF,2 of my fav girls, 2 of my closest cousins, one childhood friend and the list goes on. And if the first birthday of the month is anything to go by...I can probably only rest when October hits.

But with birthdays comes surprises. I think I like surprises even though I pretend to hate them. I mean I'm not sure. I haven't figured it out yet. You'd think at 26 I'd be able to tell if I like a certain thing or not. Turns out that's not how I roll. I mean some surprises you are bound to love. For example a surprise Katy Perry concert bang in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard on the day of my visit! True Story.

So I keep wondering if it's as difficult for other people to figure themselves out. It's fun, sometimes. But there are times when I could definitely do without the uncertainties. We are all looking to find ourselves through our travels, reading, adventures, work, friends, family etc. But by the time we find ourselves do we become a different person? Do we find someone we never were? Just doppelgangers who act, talk and walk like us?

Doesn't make any sense? I know. Me too.

Bake!

They say baking is a science. You’d never guess if you were to ever visit my house on weekends in the 90’s or early 2000s. My mom made baking look like a joke you’d crack at dinner parties. She was so good at it that it wasn’t any surprise that I was a fat kid. She is a science teacher to be fair. On weekends she’d be whipping up cakes like it was going out of fashion the next day. And like I said, she was bloody good at it.

During the week the super sleuth mother of mine would ask me “D, what is the fruit you hate to eat?”. “Apple,” I’d say. That weekend we ate the most amazing apple cakes. But soon I got the hang of it and one week I said “Strawberries!”. Mom: “But you’ve never had strawberries!” Me: “but, maa, I am convinced that strawberries can be disgusting.” I got a banana cake that weekend. My mum, she’s smart like that.

You know how famous cooks or in the movies they say “I developed a passion for cooking/baking while watching my mother cook and helping her out” ? Well, I always watched her bake. On my birthday, on sis’s birthday, on Saturday, on Sunday…pretty much all of my growing up years. I’ve smelled delicious chocolate cakes, bundt cakes, brownies, biscuits, muffins come out of that battered oven we owned. I know the steps. Almost by heart. But I never learned from her. I was just so content watching her and then packing them away for my Sunday morning picnic with my best friend and her dog as our caretaker.

So Saturday I attempted baking. Because I was craving home made cakes suddenly. Maybe it was because BFF went home and kept talking about how awesome the town we grew up in was, and how she hates coming or maybe because it’s been a bloody 5 months since I’ve seen the folks (which in my world is hell of a lot of time) or maybe because I spent 5 days thinking I’m going to die of viral fever. Needless to say it was a disaster. The kitchen looked like a war site. Not one to give up I tried again on Sunday. This time I put the boyfriend to work as well. This is time the kitchen was clean and cake was good. Nowhere close to Mother’s cakes, not fluffy enough, not the right texture but it tasted pretty good. Well, now I’ve at least made a little headway into completing one of my Life List entries. I should be almost there by end of year. Maybe.

Benchmarks

It's Friday night, and I'm waiting for the cab to be here so I can leave work and go home...and drink. Also I'm finishing off my weekly status report to send to my manager. Yea, he kind of has trust issues. 9 points down I can't remember anything else and that's not good. I mean that's enough work but a list that has 9 points looks...weird. I mean it should have like even numbers...if the numbers are in fives or tens that's even better. It's like this pet peeve I can't get rid of. But then, I realised there is a 10th point in there.

10. I cleaned up your mess!

With the list complete , mentally of course, I was just looking at random things on Facebook. I just decided that I am GLAD I have benchmarks for certain things in my life. Yes, I do have a ridiculous number of benchmarks but at least it keeps me from turning into people I dont like, or lifestyle I'd rather not have.

1. I'm never going to hold some one responsible for the mess I have created. Never. Even if I become the CEO or win the damned Noble Prize.
2. I know some friends who are SO married it just gets on my nerves. I also know friends who act like they are married couple celebrating their 25 years together, when they are only dating. I'm never going to be that married. I'm always going to have at least of couple of friends crashing my place, and I'm always going to do Thursday Ladies night with Pasta and some drinking session with the girls. I have a full proof plan. Pasta is allowed to bitch slap me into another galaxy if I become too married at any point in my life. I can do the same.
3. Have lazy Friday nights. Lazy weekends? Yes. Friday night? No, sir! I mean why in the world would I sit and laze at home when I'm perfectly healthy and capable of getting drunk and being a nuisance?! I'll act 50 when I'm really 50. No my ideal Friday night will never be drinking coffee and cooking food.
4. I will not a be a corporate slave or a brand whore. 
5. I refuse to be an obese couple. This is why I'm waking B up at 6 in the morning to run. He probably hates me by now.

Rest are a little to detailed or personal. But what I;m saying is - Have Benchmarks. Super solid, non-vage, real benchmarks. You don't want to be 50 and be someone you never wanted to be.

City Of Dreams?

We have a million questions

All about our lives

And when I got to New York

Everything felt right

I wish you were here with me tonight

~FM Static (improv)

I always thought NYC would be special. I don't know why, but I knew. It's like looking at the new roommate and knowing you'd hit it off.

 

The first time I saw the skyline appear I was in a shuttle with 6 strangers. I drew in a sharp breath and thought “this is your moment, Mr Life List, this is it.” And I made sure I carefully registered their faces. Nothing about this moment should be lost on me. I was to be dropped off at Port Authority an avenue/block away from Time Square and take a cab from there. I had the details carefully written in a bright pink post-it. As I stepped out I felt the warm clammy air …and bright lights. It was 1:41 AM and the city was abuzz with people, cabs and noise. I looked around at the street names and on impulse I decided I’d be walking to my sister/friend… sister-friend’s (?) place. I remember her telling me that it wasn’t too far away. Later she told me almost everybody she’s known has been utterly confused whenever they’ve been here for the first time. I found their place nice and easy. I told you we were supposed to fit. We did.

And I took my time. I felt the place. I breathed that air. You know just before you are about to cry that burning  behind your eyes? That happened. I thought why am I crying? Turns out it was overwhelming emotion. Walking in the City Of Dreams. A HUGE check on my Life List. But that overwhelming emotion wasn’t for that…

…It was the realization that this would not have been possible had it not been for B in my life. At the end of the day that is who you really need. Someone who cares so much about your dreams that they make it happen for you. You’re very own dream-maker.

Maybe it’s called the City Of Dreams not because it makes your dreams come true. Maybe it’s called the City Of Dreams because it helps you realize that for someone your dreams are as big a deal as it is for you. That there’s someone who doesn’t read your life list and goes “Oh, cute!” but actually makes it happen.

Being Anonymous

I think we've already established that I like travelling. It’s mainly because I like how a new city feels. Anonymous. Yes, it feels anonymous. You break away from your usual lifestyle and fall into this routine that is mostly not you. I like it. Mostly for a few days before the I crave my usual routine. But right before the craving for familiarity begins I like that whole anonymous feeling. You could walk for miles and not see anything that you know about. Typically I don’t like surprises. If you want to surprise me tell me in advance. But the small surprises that comes with a stroll or a cab ride in a new city is a different rush.

And then in the middle of the break I like to make routines for myself. My life, you could say, is gigantic collage of life lists, routines, weekend rituals, to-do lists. Without these I feel like my life’s spinning out of control. Yea, I’m kinda crazy like that…

 I wasn’t kidding, see?!

So having these mini-routines while I’m away from my real life is important. Very important. Like making coffee first thing in the morning, or the small walk back to the hotel, or responding to my emails at night. It’s funny because I’d never do ANY of those things back home. Walk back home? Physically impossible. Respond to email at night? Sorry, dude, I don’t take work back home.

Also the best part about being here has been my counterpart here who is a Foodie. Yes, with a capital F. He’s taken me around to eat weird Chinese food and the best burger in town and cold tea with tapioca balls. Food is always the best part of going to a new place. But the craving for home is kind of coming at me pretty fast and the euphoria will only last so much. But before that happens, it’s going to be New York tonight. My Life List should be doing a crazy victory dance right now

Music Monday #7

Someday We'll Know
New Radicals

(slight improv)

Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain

Someday we'll know why the sky is blue

Someday we'll know why I was meant for you

Someday we'll know why Samson love Delilah

One day I'll go dancing on the moon

Someday you'll know that I was the one for you

Of Birthdays, Cheap Flights & Stirring In The Heart

So in exactly 5 mins it's P's birthday. Apart from being completely attuned to the time difference I do keep my laptop in India time whenever I travel, like you may know. Also, just like last year I'm missing P's birthday. Again! This obviously sucks more than gravity itself. But anyways... Happy Birthday, P!

And in other things, it pays to be an internet whore. Because this means you dig out EXTREMELY cheap flights to go meet your friend! It's just one of those things that I'm blessed with. Super bargains on the internet, that's my thing.

And alsoit was Life List decision making struggle while I decided if a weekend in Vegas is what I wanted or a few days in NYC.  While Vegas is what I want to do because...well, it's Vegas, NYC is something of a fantasy I've nursed for a very long time. I've always thought I'd feel a stirring in my heart when I finally saw the city. Saw the skyline. And stirring in the heart is always a good winner.

The Libran, The Taurean & The Normalcy

This Taurean is not one to make quick decisions about taking on a lover. She likes to take her time...go slow. But this Libran man with his typical charming Libran ways has her saying yes quicker than she ever imagined. Something so unlike her leaves the Taurean's nerves on the edge but of course, all she needs is that charming smile to soothe those edgy nerves.

The Libran with his smile and keen sense of style never has a shortage of admirers. Which is in fact really good, because Miss Taurean tends to get comfortable. Those bevy of admirers keeps her going to the parlor every 2 weeks, keeps her from having too much of those ice creams or keeps her from not doing her nails on time.

But lazy Libran doesn't like to fuss over cleanliness. Taurean on the other hand is obsessive about it. But Mr Libra wants a well kept home and will fly off the handle when he can't find his socks. So for this and this alone he doesn't get in the way of Miss Taurean's cleaning frenzy. Which is perfect as far as Taurean is considered.

But while Taurean will never ask Libran to shower her with affection she will feel resentful if he doesn't. Taureans never ask, they're kind of crazy like that. But in that perfect Libran way he's never far away from appreciation. Or letting Taurean know about the endless possibilities of being together. While Libran is limitless and boundless in his imagination and takes Taurean to places she takes time to get comfortable with...Taurean is limitless and boundless with her love, security and passion.

But oh how she hates the PDA. But how unfazed is Libran because he knows she will warm up to it. All the Taurean woman wants is her sense of stability and security and routine. When PDA becomes routine, she stops complaining. Libran knows that very well. He's smart like that. And it is this intellectual bent of mind because of which Ms Taurean loves to have this big debates and important life conversations with Libran. While they both love beauty it is this connection they have at a different level that keeps them going. Strong.

So this Taurean brings some semblance of reality and stability into the intellectual, crazy about beauty and love, strong believer of endless possibilities and never quite jaded Libran. While the Libran is busy wooing her with his boundless ideas and affection when she's too grounded. Or putting her before him when she forgets about herself. Or just just plain dragging her out of the clutches of normalcy that she tends to gravitate towards.

Thank you for being my anti-normalcy drug, B!

City Of Bay Watch

When I was young we didn't have many rules at our household. There were in fact only two rules: 1) Be polite & nice to everybody & 2) Finish your food. And, secretly, there were times when we didn't follow them. Oh, we did get caught. After all there are only so many innovative ways of getting rid of a glass of milk.

The point is I grew up watching Santa Barbara and The Bold And The Beautiful. And then Bay Watch. Oh the times when Mitch ran across the beach. And for the life of me I couldn't understand why the other parents fussed so much about watching these soaps or series or whatever. It was only natural I wanted be running along with them in that beautiful city of Bay Watch.

Well, I'm here now. Not exactly running. Sleeping most of yesterday to be precise.

I can't wait to go to the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, Venice Beach, Hollywood City etc etc. But for obvious reasons it's taking me time to turn into a Tourist Ninja. For starters, unlike London, the public transport system SUCKS. So I'll have to find my way around here...and look for the best ways to travel. If anyone, from LA if reading this...please be nice enough to leave some tips.I'll write a whole post on you and your blog. Doesn't matter how crappy unique or offbeat it is. And I'm loving this perfect beach weather...

Then I will meet Jackass. Yes, the same one who runs in lightning speed during an earthquake. Ooooh...I cannot wait.

PS: Mr. B is is the WORST when it comes to long distance communication. Laziness thy name is ...well, that's only for me to know :) For all of you it's still Mr. B.

Nerves

"I want to travel the world." If you've been around me enough you would've heard this a fair number of times. But when it actually comes down to it I get this weird, can't put a finger on it, heart at the pit of my stomach kind of feeling. And, no, its not just about travelling alone. Maybe when I'm with others the sinking feeling is a little less...but its definitely there. I don't know if it's about keeping numerous vital documents with you, the long hours, the worry of having left something behind or the running around that becomes mandatory everytime you travel - but all you see of me, a couple of days prior to the journey, is a pile of nerves.

On the other side of the flight journey, though, is a Tourist Ninja.

Unpacking The Baggage

Zipping past India Gate in a late summer night I realized how little time I take out to actually admire the beauty of this city. My city. With the windows rolled down and the warm wind blowing my hair into a crazy tangle, I felt exhilarated. Out of breath. I felt almost as much in love with this city as I was that summer, that summer I turned 18. That summer when I fell in love with the huge red building of my Alma Mater. That summer when I kicked shyness in the butt and made some awesome friends. That summer when I was overwhelmed with the course the lecturer laid out in front of me. That summer when I found hidden Chinese food joints. That summer when I had my first real swig of Beer. That summer when I discovered myself. That summer when I stepped onto the Train Station and knew the city was mine.

It is true. You don’t choose New Delhi, New Delhi chooses you. It will leave you exasperated with crime rates and power cuts. The summers will make you swear to not come back again. It’ll corrode your soul a little every day. You’ll promise yourself you’ll run. But you see, you can’t. For what it takes, it gives you more. Always and in many ways. For some the people they learn to live with and love. For some the jobs that take care of everything they love. For some the empowerment that comes from driving events that shape the political history of a country. For some the love.

For me? I don’t know where to start. Was it the thrill of finally knowing who I am or what food I liked? Or my first painful love story. Or the first time I waded through knee-high water. Or my first successful shot at bargaining. Maybe it was the growing up and finding a soul mate.

Point is be it a person or a city, they can load you with a lot of baggage (no shit!). But the reason I stay on  is that it also helps me unpack my baggage. Gives me moments in time when I can just throw myself on the bed, stare at the ceiling and not care about a damn thing. How can you leave a city which helps you unpack your baggage? I wish I was one of those people who can just up and leave at the drop of a hat. Maybe they have it easier. But I can’t and never will.

And then I turn to look at the person sitting next to me.

And how can you leave a person who has helped you unpack your baggage? If it ever comes to leaving everything behind, this man right next to me, I’m taking. We can unpack together.

I Had A Conversation With Little Me

WHAT IS IT? Why are you stalking me? Either I'm hallucinating or you've become a certified stalker!
I think you're hallucinating.
Well, that won't be surprising. This fever is sucking the life blood out of me. What are you doing her anyway? You're way past your bedtime.
Well, you of all people should know that I don't have a bedtime. Folks are chill like that.
Fine. But, again, what are you doing here?
Thought I'd pay you a visit. Things are changing aren't they?
Hmm, yes. They are. But I like these changes, you know. I guess you wouldn't know, you're too young.
Oh Gawd! Stop calling me young! Well, first I wanted to check with you and second that sister of ours is too much trouble. I thought I'd get away for a while.
Haha. Don't worry about it. By the time you hit 20 she'll be one of your best friends. You'll have hour long conversations with her on weekends about nothing at all. Laugh about random things that you won't even remember later.
Fine. I'll take your word for it. I mean I have to, don't I? But there's this other thing....or rather this other boy. He's moving! I mean I can't imagine. I've crushed on him for so long and now he's moving. I never even got to tell him anything. That's not fair is it? What if I regret it for the rest of my life and what if I die lonely?
Well, one thing's for sure you'll always be a drama queen. 13, 21, 25 - drama is your way of life. But that boy? Yeah, he was a good one. And he'll also be the first of your friends to get married...
Wait...WHAT?! Are you serious? I think I'm going to pass out from this physical pain.
If I was any healthier I would've rolled my eyes right now. No, you're not going to pass out. Relax. Well you won't be affected when that happens and you'd actually be really happy for him, you know?
 No, I don't know! I can't imagine me being...
Can I finish? Well, you will be happy. So deal with it. He will go on to be one of your really good friends...you might lose in touch though but you won't regret anything about this. I'd wish you were a lot more proactive about keeping in touch.
 Yeah, well. I'll atleast have the Super Seven with me all my life.
First, that's the lamest name ever. Second, don't count on that.
[Groan] You're like the bearer of the worst pieces of information ever.
What? I'm not saying you will stop being friends. Just some of you may not be around all the time. Some of you will go to far away places, do really well for yourselves and will always remember each other fondly. Also, you'll make some helluva friends that will mean more to you than you can possibly imagine right now.
Who are these friends?
Nope. Can't tell you that.
Why?!
Sometimes you gotta let the magic happen without knowing all about it.
So tell me about these changes, huh?
What's there to tell? You know about them, that's why you're here, right?
Yea, obviously. But I want to know all about it. Tell me!
What did I tell you about magic just now. Ask me something else.
Will Pizza always be my favorite food?
Uhh...No. And thank God for that, my metabolism couldn't take the assault.
Utter Crap! A little bit of Pizza is going to do nothing.
 Yea, well, cherish the super brill metabolism while it's still there. And you'll start loving rice and all the glory of the Bengali food. Don't make that face. You will. And mangoes. You will start loving mangoes like no other fruit.
 I know, mom never stops trying to feed me some mangoes. Ha! And that rice, mango and Bengali food thing should be interesting.
Yes, so off you go! You're giving me a headache already.
Wow, so cranky.
 I know. Blame it on the fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fever!
What?
Never mind. And do me a favor, don't crave to be 25. It's not as glamorous as you think it is. I mean, okay, more fun definitely. But on and off you will crave to be in that sleepy town. So spend more time with the folks and stop bullying little sis.
God, you're all about the lectures these days aren't you? Anyway, I'll try. [Smiles]

Let It Be!

I was watching a video the other day (with a friend) about this girl who ranted away on how you shouldn't feel pressurized to get married as soon as you reach the so called marriageable age and how its OK to not run after a home, husband and kids. Basically it's OK to wait and what not.

But my point is, if I was getting married in say the near future (and I was that impressionable) this video would have made me feel pressurized and gulp down a couple of beers in the least. I mean WHAT THE FUCK?! It's a problem if you don't get married and now it's a problem and if you DO get married...can you girls decide? And why why why do we need to have norms!

In our quest of trying to liberate us from making choices that we did not want we are trying to tie us down with logic that never was. What you do with your life is your choice. I don't want to feel weird if I'm with the right person at the right time and wanting to get married. And god forbid if I'm in the 'right age to marry' bracket. I'm not doing it because of the pressure to do certain things at a certain age. I'm doing it because I genuinely want to.

If I'm able to live on my own and pay for my education (well half of it anyway) since the last 10 years. If I'm able to vote for the country. I think, I think, I would know when to get married. It's no pressure, really. It's these fucking FB statuses and blog posts from these 20-somethings that are so baffling. Ridic!

So yea, before you jump into your monologues about when someone should marry, at what age, to whom - so on and so forth...think again. It's all about living and letting the others live too, right?

After The Radio Silence

I know. Radio silence can be a bitch. And that’s all you got here off late.

But can you identify with the time when you’re life has nothing exciting and you’re just lazing around one day after another with no motivation of doing anything at all? Well, the past few weeks were NOTHING like this. I’ve been hella busy! With work (but, of course) and in my personal space as well.

And if you thought I was complaining….hell, no! I’m soaking in every minute of my crazy busy schedule that is eventually going to lead into one of the most important days in anybody’s life. So yea, I’m good. Mr. Cool-as-cucumber-boyfriend is coping quite well too. Except the times when you know the day has dealt you more than what you can handle. On days like that you will hear random shite like “This is my driving face.” But it’s time to say b-bye to the driving face thanks to the abnormal  hike in petrol prices last week. People went berserk it affected the nation’s travel plans and my swimming plans.

With “b-bye Driving Face” comes “Hello Metro/Subway/Tube.” Honestly, though it is slightly cumbersome to travel for an hour in the Delhi Metro, thanks to the huge distances, it’s also insanely fun. Oh, the variety of people that you meet and see!

There’s always the girl who cannot get enough of phone conversations with her boyfriend. Sitting or standing she’s always animatedly talking into the phone.

And the bunch of girls who discuss every minute aspect of their lives with each other in their loud voices, as result subjecting the entire Women’s compartment to a narration of life in her shoes. Boyfriend’s cheating, work sucks, husband’s lazy. You name it and I bet she’s facing that problem.

And then there are the ones that like to play music out loud. From their phones. Oblivious of the ‘No loud music’ signs carefully stuck above the doors and everywhere else.

The women who hop in to the metro and do their very best to exude an air that says “I never take public transport…but my car broke down/driver called in sick etc etc.”

Oh, the women with the kids. Who let their kid run around the entire metro screaming, squealing, punching random people and more. It’s safe to say that the entire crowd lives in the fear of actually having do deal with these moving/running/squealing time bombs.

And then there are the likes of me. Who sit, look around, listen to some music (not loudly) and observe people. Carefully toeing the line between being aloof and downright creepy.

I can’t wait for the entertainment to start.

Hulk...Smash!

10 days back I watched Avengers. I fell in love with the movie instantly. So both B and I went to watch it again. It's actually one of those movies you don't really get tired of. One of my favorite parts?

Bamm!

Apart from that when Capt America goes... "Hulk...Smash!" and Hulk goes berserk. This baby is slowly climbing the movie charts into being my top 5 movies of all times.

How I wish we could "Hulk...Smash!" through life. Just bulldoze through all the work, unpleasantness, uncomfortable parts of our lives.I mean of course life wouldn't be as much fun but atleast you don't have to face that asshole after 12 hours of work who wants to suddenly switch lanes or the slow poke who takes 10 mins to pay 20 bucks at the toll gate.

It's interesting how both examples are driving related. It gets on my nerves even when I don't do the driving. Imagine B actually doing the driving. So even when I thought that he'd absolutely gone nuts when he declared that he now has a driving face (read really unimaginably weird face) I didn't say a thing. I figured he needed the distraction from trying to scream his lungs out and tearing apart the assholes on the road.

City traffic just plain sucks. And B's been so good. Driving me to work, then to the pool so I can pretend I'm losing weight by splashing around and back home. The schedule is literally screaming out for a break. Therefore, Rishikesh it is this weekend. Oh and I can put my camera to some real use :)

26

Yes, we may think we're all destined to play certain roles, but sometimes those roles can unexpectedly change: a nervous student may discover a hidden confidence; a long time wife may confront a harsh reality; a busy mother may find her attention needed elsewhere; and a woman who wanted to do a little bit of good may be finding herself playing a much bigger role than she intended. ~ Mary Alice, Desperate Housewives

Midweek birthdays are not exceptional by any stretch of the imagination. Especially when it's mine. Just hours before my birthday I have been known to become this crabby sorehead who only wants to turn the AC on and sleep.

But over the last couple of years I have grown to accept the fact that some people will always come to wish you when the clock strikes 12 and my perfection of a boyfee will have some arrangements in place no matter how much I make him promise to not do anything at all.

and sometimes he will get the perfect gift .

But for reasons I cannot mention yet this birthday might be more symbolic than others. Might mean a teeny weeny bit more than the others. This birthday might have had me a li'l bit more jittery than others. But the point I'm trying to make is this:

Postsecret.com

We'll see what happens and where life takes us. For the longest time I have planned and planned for the way

I want things to happen. In my teenage years when I was acing my tests, getting best performer certificates at school level and even doing well in sports I never imagined I would ever not have a plan.I was "The Man With The Plan" - figuratively.

But as I glide into my late 20s expecting bad metabolism to take over I realise I don't have a plan. I'm not sure what's going to happen work-wise, life-wise. I don't even know if I want my proverbial white-picket fence house - I really like my 1st floor flat with an adorable stray dog who comes running to protect me. All I know is that something exceptional is going to happen...now, tomorrow, a year later - don't know. Till them I'm just working towards it. For now:

Only things you work on...will happen.

I'm a weird mood, yes. However it can't be easy not knowing where you're heading...or maybe not. See...not sure about absolutely anything, except this:

except it's a "he" in my case

But while I embark on this journey which I don't know anything about, amidst all our crazies and cronies and randomness and nothingness I will atleast have a super fly SLR to record it!

Weekend Trip & Music Monday #6

Everybody needs a little break. And that's exactly what we got this past weekend. We went to Mussorie, a nice little quaint hill station some 6/7 hours away from Delhi. Considering how the temperature levels in Delhi have reached are-you-crazy levels, this was a very good idea and such a bliss. Also, since I'm addicted to Instagram (now that it is available for Android) so I'm going to tell you the rest of the story in Instagram (more or less).

It started with the expected greenery and mountains.

The most beautiful cottage and an equally comfy room. I don't think I'm really the hardcore
backpacking kind - I NEED a good and super comfy, double mattress beds that you can absolutely sink in.

And super cute kids who don't actually make a lot of noise but are fun to watch.
I'm not a big kid person. But these kids? They were actually FUN!

Wild Daisies. We went to the highest point of the hill station.
And we found thousands of these at ~6000ft !

Also, there is no limit to how much you can eat when you're in the hills. It's crazy. I felt like I had 2 breakfast, lunches and dinners.

On that note. We even found some cotton candy.
We took one and some 20 people ate out of it -
each and everyone reliving a vital part of their childhood.

And the lady bug that sent all the kids in a crazy frenzy. I know, awful pic but
this is the maximum my Android phone can do.

And after the most bumpy bus ride ever - HOME!

Well, Home is always good and Mondays are almost always a drag. So here's some music to get rid rid of your Monday blues: Drive By - Train

:

Not This Me

You know, when you see some of those classic new age chick flicks and they show those busy men talking into 3 phones at the same time? No time for play, no time for friends & let alone a girlfriend. They don't return calls from family and don't know the names of the people reporting to him. The secretary does all the work, sends flowers, collects laundry et al.

Well, for starters I don't have a secretary. But I'm afraid I'm becoming that person. The one who doesn't remember birthdays or send flowers or forgets to return calls. In my defense though, I haven't forgotten a birthday and I was always bad with phone calls. But I feel like I have such less time for people. I'm on the phone almost always and when I'm not on the phone I'm on the laptop sending some damned report. Weekends, I'm too tired.

Okay, this was not the plan. That is not the person I want to become. The kind who is going through life in a hurry and everything else is a haze. Where I have no time for the people who matter or where I snap when I'm too stressed. Nope. Not becoming that.

But then my friend got admitted in the hospital because of his appendix. You'd think an organ which is of no use in your body would sit quietly without making much fuss. But no. I mean imagine the audacity of that stupid vestigial organ making life hell for you. So much so that you'll end up needing an emergency procedure. I was there at the hospital that evening.

And then M went through a rough patch with the boyfee. Her text on a Friday mroning totally shook most of us. I called her some...I don't know...bazillion times.

Last night as I lay down desperately hoping I haven't missed My Kitchen Rules episode. I thought maybe I haven't crossed over to No-Friend-No-Love-No-Love-Only-Work side of life yet. I make time when I have to. I just have buck up and do it more often. And take work a little less seriously. Leave the stress at the workplace.

I want to be my mom who would come from work and experiment with a dish that all of us swore we would never eat again or wake up in the morning and make sure she sits outside with her tea for atleast 10 mins. I want to be my dad who always had just enough ebergy left to get stuff for my art project or take me out to have my favorite ice-cream. 

There was always enough energy, enough love, enough heart.

New Baby = More Complicated Strategy For Eloping

I like to Elope. Once in a while. Yea, you read that right. I like to Elope.

Whenever I'm all Blah and there's nothing interesting happening I have a fake conversation with B.

"Let's Elope!"

His first reaction ever was - "But why baby? we don't need to, do we? Is there something I need to know?" Yes, it's safe to say he was scared. But then he started playing along and got even more creative than I normally do.

keep your bags packedI'll come to pick u up

  and you come down from your balcony

  I'll throw a rock at your window

Yes, I love crazy pillow talk.

But now we have a new baby. Our neeeewww car :) It looks fab, runs like butter and even has those lights that switch on once you slide open the mirror on the sun visor (my favoritest feature). No points for guessing that both of us are seriously crushing on this new baby. I should probably put up a picture. Anyhoo. This changes a few things though. How?

12:20 AM
Me: Lets' Elope, man.
B: How will we earn money?
Me: We don't need to. We'll sell beer or something.
B: But how will we buy fuel for our carrrr.

Silence.

Yes, this definitely changes a few things.

Complicated

Have you noticed how really simple questions can be mind boggling and very very complicated?

You would think a simple "How are you?" is well...simple. But no. You're wondering do you really want to know. What about the fact I don't feel too well today or that I haven't saved money in the longest time or I had really less sleep yesterday you know. While work is fine I don't know if that's what I want to do, I'm having trouble zero-ing in on something that I really really want that is truly deeply me.
But then you put a screeching halt to your train of thoughts and say "I'm fine, thanks."

And then the customary "How was your weekend?" that makes me want to end my association with corporate life.

Weekend? Well I twisted my ankle and it wasn't even a proper weekend considering I felt so damn tired. I'm clearly over-worked. One weekend is just not going to cut it anymore.  But, honestly, who wants to listen?

I mean you could've asked me how many monkeys NASA sent to space last year and you would have got the same smile & nod.

I don't know if I'm suddenly repulsed by all scoial human contact or is it just PMS. Don't know. No idea. Zilch. Nada.

What I do know, however, is if one my girls asked me that question I would actually say everything that's running through my mind. That's probably why most of our conversations start with "So where are we going drinking?"

Mom's The Word

I'm not sure how this works but  mom's are always right and ... they make things happen. If they say, "You'll grow up to be a handsome boy" or "You'll make us so so proud" - take my advice and believe them.

I've seen it happen.

Ecommerce Addict - Done By None

OK, now, I'm pretty much in touch with everything cool that's happening in the virtual world. The latest fads, clothes, websites, twitter trends and I literally stalk Cracked.com.

A particular weakness is ecommerce websites in India. I look and scour through so many websites selling umpteen number of designer labels - it's positively mind boggling. However the other day I came across this websites selling the coolest freaking set of handbags a girl could imagine. And oh the candy colors were almost making them look edible. It's this website called DoneByNone.com.

Did I tell you they delivered in 1.5 hours!

Is that freaking super star customer experience or what?! They are launching their apparel collection and ...man, I cannot wait! I've never done a feature like post on any website I have ever visited but for this one...I had to! I even pinned about them. I'm clearly in love :)

Whole Lotta Love

It's amazing how overworked I feel everyday. Ideas come and slip away. And I'm just left wanting more and more sleep.
It's amazing how B puts up with my bad mood when the work pressure is too much.
It's amazing how less I spoke when I went for one my dear friends wedding reception. And I had so much to say.
It amazing how bad I feel when I'm taking an interview and I know that the candidate wouldn't make it. I never thought I would!
It's amazing how attached I feel to some material things. I know I'm not much of a material girl (except when it comes to perfumes), so why is it so hard to get rid of that bed i bought 5 years ago or the ugly looking library card from college.
It's amazing how much I'm bothered about keeping the house clean when I've lived in messy apartments and messier rooms all throughout my college life and beyond.
It's amazing how I want to leave everything and just run away. Travel frequently and live more simply. When all that matters is a little bit of sunshine, a little bit of laughter and a whole lotta love.

Inspiration & Pinterest

I have been listening to Cee Lo’s Fuck You for the 100^th time. Yesterday we drank a little too much, again. After I had promised myself I’m not going to drink myself silly on a weekday. Because frankly the new workplace comes with a lot of drama and responsibility workwise. Better pay does come at a price, you know. When I woke up it was that feeling that makes you want to leave drinking… almost. But we keep going back to those pints and concoctions…like a moth to a flame.

Anyhoo, my point is I need a little inspiration. Inspiration to write, read…you know the things that I usually love. The only thing I’m loving right now is Pinterest.

Dear Life, throw me that famous curve ball!

Life

A month, thousands of tweets, hundreds of posts, a few articles and numerous memories later - we miss you. As much as that first day. As much as we ever had.

Now as some time has passed us by I know a few things for sure. There are 2 people who will never really move on from you. There are a few who will care as much as they cared before - zilch. There is that one whom I will never forgive. Because when you share houses, you share lives as well. When you can't be strong enough to be around during the worst times, you don't mean much anyways. There are a handful who will keep restoring your faith in love, life & friends.

Amongst other things, I am coming back from a weekend trip to my hometown right now. I like how life comes to full stop at home. I'm addicted to that feeling. Therefore it's obvious that I feel an overwhelming surge of sadness when I leave. I want to spend more time with my folks, talk to them a lot more, listen to them, be with them. I hate how parents have stopped being a part of my everyday life. We need to be more available to each other!

There must be a way to be at 3 places at the same time. With Mr B, with the folks & at Vegas ...preferably in a casino... winning money.

Pro-Adele, Oh Whitney & Love Games

Tell me you watched the Grammys and was almost as excited as Adele at the way she OWNED the Grammys. I’m mighty glad that the Gagas and Biebers did not take over. On second thoughts, they couldn’t have. Adele’s so “real” it’s hard not to connect with her. Her non-lip synching & non-auto tuned flawless voice is her biggest asset. Apart from the fact that she actually sends out the message that you don’t need to conform and be anorexic, skimpily clad to out-shine everybody in show-business. While the industry buzzed with how REAL music won that night… they also mourned the legend that was Whitney.

The reason I loved, loved, loved Whitney was that…one of my first memories that involve music was this cassette Mum had. Album name: Whitney Houston. So like most people I know, “I will always love you” was not the only Whitney song I heard, though I did love it to bits. The Whitney love never went away. The day I discovered “I will always love you” was the day my dad almost contemplated giving me up. I would sing it everywhere – home, bathroom, classroom, lunch break,  playground – think it & that place would have heard me sing. Aloud. Finally a month or so later my older cousin had to sit me down and say “I hate to break this to you but you’re NOT Whitney Houston!” So I stopped singing. Aloud. But inside my head? I was singing in front of a packed audience. Everywhere.

I hate what she got reduced to. The drug abuse, the erratic public appearances, the cancelled shows and everything she was not. I’m sure, now, she’s back to being the Gospel singer’s daughter who had a voice that could only be God’s special blessing.

In other things, Today is Valentine’s Day. (Guffaw).

Yes, I hate “celebrating” any part of it. I wouldn’t for the life of me, buy you a gift and take you out on dinner. Last time this year, I remember we were crazy broke. So I just took a printer paper and wrote “happy valentine’s day” and made some nonsensical drawing. B did the same. We were happy, content. Not because we didn’t expect a big surprise or something extravagant. But mainly because we did expect anything at all. Luckily for both of us, we loathed the idea of “celebrating” this day equally. Well, maybe B’s loathing is a degree or two more.

However, I find it very hard to be cynical towards this day. I mean how can you be disgusted with so much love all around -  couple coo-ing at each other, candle light dinners, walking with that silly smile. C’mon it’s nice in a weird way. And let’s admit it. We are a busy breed and maybe having one day to remind yourself to be nice…why not? To each his own, right? So what I’m saying is you will never find a post on how commercialism is ruling our lives through valentine’s day or how corporates are making money off common people just because of this day on this blog. Ever. Because, frankly, there are bigger problems than shooing kids off the streets or banning Hallmark cards.

The A Word

 

 

Abuse. The dictionary has a very simple meaning for this word. Misuse. Maltreatment.

Unfortunately it does not even begin to cover the complexity of the reality of abuse. The multiple ugly layers that it has. Take this from someone who's been there, done that. So when things turned ugly between a friend and the supposedly better half, I saw red. No matter how bad things are, how ugly the things you say to each other are, a guy/girl absolutely cannot in any extent of the imagination think that hitting the other is a possibility.

But does that really eradicate Abuse? The very nature of something like this is it works in many, discreet ways. It need not always be physical. A lot of times it's emotional and mental. Afraid to talk about that co-worker who is funny that you share a completely platonic relationship with? Or about the good things that are happening at work? Just because it might make him mad? If that's a yes...it's abuse. Most women go through life unable to even recognize those tell-tale signs of abuse. These signs may not be in-your-face but it will surely and steadily eat you up and make you a different person. I'm trying to not be too dramatic...but one day you are going to wake up and not recognize the person you have become. Also, just because I'm talking from a woman's perspective does not mean it doesn't happen the other way around. It does.

I think the saddest the thing is, abusive relationships are also addictive. You are addicted to the authority the other person brings in your life. The confidence, self - importance that compensates for your own lack of it. Because admit it if all the above were there...you would have called it quits as soon as it started. This may not be helping anybody at all as I write it...but please, please get out of it as soon as someone hits you. That's a line you don't want to cross.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know it's hard. Easier said than done. Because when you discover the full extent of how loveless this whole fiasco is (does not matter how many times he cries and says he won't do it again) it's going to tear at the very core of your being. You'll need a heart of steel, agreed. But do it, because you owe it to yourself, to the parents who raised you like you were the only thing that meant anything to them, do it for the friends who love you unconditionally, to the perfect guy in future who is going to treat you like a princess.

Forever And A Day

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."”

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

"So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me, I’m right here in your heart."

Cancer won that battle. Early Friday morning we watched helplessly as she quietly went away. We hugged and cried as there was nothing to say, no words to comfort or reason. And what do you say to someone who has lost their mother. Nothing. So you just quietly stand there and hope the tears will be enough to express the grief and hurt inside.

I thought, an ode to one of the most amazing women I've met was due. But words can't do justice to the glorious life she'd lived. So we cried some more.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.

When you waken in the morning's hush;
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight;
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

The Sound Of Heaven

A couple of days back I woke up quite early for work. As I drowsily walked towards the shower, I realised that I had left the towel in balcony. Ugghh...

So bracing myself to face the freeze-your-brains-out cold outside I walked to the balcony. Hoping to get it over with soon, I grabbed the towel and started walking back. But then...

...that's when it started raining. A gentle pour, like something soft falling on velvet. And there was pin drop silence and I could see the clouds clearing up. I swear I could hear them moving/clearing. It was just a beautiful sound. It was then that I knew, everything that was going wrong would be alright. Don't ask me why, but I just knew.

I stood still for a few minutes before the biting cold drove me in.

But I couldn't help but wonder, if that's what Heaven sounds like. Either that or it sounds like B's drowsy morning voice.

Weekend Education: Dating Don'ts Part 4

[Scheduled Post]

OK, here it is again. I told you the Holiday Season should officially be termed the Hook-Up Season. If you remember, I explained how people are desperate to hook up during this time. Most women definitely have their Manhunt Game face on. However, sweet and undeniably adorable that I am, I will tell you how to steer clear of the assholes. Here goes:

Never trust a guy -

1. Who thinks chivalry is for Mills & Boons historic novels.If he doesn't hold the door for you, give you the seat when the tube is crowded, he's not worth it.

2, Wears more jewellery than you. Ok, fine, this may be a more personal kind of a bias, but I do think it's a good benchmark.

3. Makes you pay for his drink. Well, equality and all that is just fine. But if he's interested in you he needs to come over and buy you a drink. Yes, this is what God wants and this is how it shall be.

4. Hits on your friends...what? there's nothing to explain! Take that at face value.

So here's hoping that this year be free of assholes in your life.

xoxo

Why Was It So Good?

The other day one of my friends asked me - why was your 2011 so good?!

For a moment I didn't know what to say..I mean why was it good? I think I just came out of that year feeling like things were okay. They could have been worse, but they were not. But then, she told me a series of things that I know didn't go too well for me..and asked me if I still felt the same or was it the alcohol on 31st that made the whole year look good. As if!

She wasn't trying to drop me in the despair zone...but I think was looking for a way to see if she should be feeling happy about 2011 at all. Because I will admit, 2011 wasn't her year.

Then I thought there MUST be something more than me feeling "Oh, I came out of the year feeling good!" What were the things that made me happy?

- For starters, after a really long time I got something solid going with a guy whom I adore and who loves me back equally if not more.

- Second, I was beyond ecstatic when I realized that my parents saw the side of B that I fell in love with and actually really loved him! I was more grateful for the fact that they did not make a fuss about religion/caste or what not like most households. They showed the exact same values that they taught us growing up. It's very important for your parents to not fail you at any time...

- Over the course of the year some of us became a family away from home.

- I also realized no matter what people say there are some people who will remain friends and it doesn't matter if they're Down Under, Or partying with Uncle Sam or just rotting 2 buildings away.

- It's IMP to have a BFF. Or two. You need a little perspective when everything else fails.

- Sometimes you need a little push and a shove to get out of your comfort zone. Once there, you could be braving it better than anybody else.And things that matter, don't change just because you changed jobs.

So while, there will be times when the breath is knocked out of you and the ground is pulled from under you and, in either case, you fall, you just have to make sure there's someone to catch every such fall. In case the fall is too bad and they fall with you, make sure you laugh it off.

Because everyday does not need to be a battle. Choose your fights. And choose your Army. Because on days that you think you can't fight no more or that the fight is over, your army is what will carry you forward.